Subject: Can we ever understand men?
Because I%26#039;m a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a
wire long after hypothermia has set in.
Because I%26#039;m a man, when the car isn%26#039;t running very well, I will pop
the
hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I%26#039;m looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, %26quot;I used to be
able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn%26#039;t, know where to start.%26quot;
Because I%26#039;m a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me
soup
and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You%26#039;re a woman. You
never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn%26#039;t a problem.
Because I%26#039;m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic
items like %26quot;cumin%26quot; or %26quot;tofu.%26quot; For all I know, these are the same
thing.
And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for
which %26quot;feminine hygiene product%26quot; is a euphemism.
Because I%26#039;m a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost
me
twice as, much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.
Because I%26#039;m a man, I must hold the television remote control in my
hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole
show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding
a
calculator).
Because I%26#039;m a man, I don%26#039;t think we%26#039;re all that lost, and no, I don%26#039;t
think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a
complete stranger? I mean, how on earth could he know where we%26#039;re
going?
Because I%26#039;m a man, whatever you get your mother for Mother%26#039;s Day is
okay; I don%26#039;t need to see it. And while you%26#039;re at it, don%26#039;t forget to
pick up something for my mother, also. And, please sign the card too.
Because I%26#039;m a man, you don%26#039;t have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you%26#039;re crying at the end of it, I didn%26#039;t.
Because I%26#039;m a man, I think what you%26#039;re wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes
is fine. With the belt or without it---looks fine. Your hair is fine.
You look fine. Can we just go now?
This has been a public service message for Women to better understand
the Male species.
Can We Ever Understand Men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Women will never understand men and vice versa. That%26#039;s what makes life intertersting.
Reply:yes you can understand men if you are a perfect woman
Reply:because i am aman i%26#039;ll nver answer your questions
Reply:LOL.
Reply:because you%26#039;re a woman you shave your eyebrows off then paint them back on , because you%26#039;re a woman you say you%26#039;re looking for a real man ,then you get boob jobs , luposuction, dye your hair , because you%26#039;re a woman you tell us don%26#039;t lie then get mad when you ask does this make me look fat , because you%26#039;re a woman you have over 100 sets of clothes then tell us you don%26#039;t have a thing to wear, because you%26#039;re a woman you say you hate people who gossip , then start talking about the neighbor lady who you think is a hooker
Reply:te-he so true lol but the remote yeah thats me I can%26#039;t let it out of my sight and when I do I search for it while my show is on and then i%26#039;ll find something to distract me usually my cellphone lol ♥
Reply:too many unanswered questions...:)
gives me doubt too...:)
Reply:i love men, well my man i think the annoying things just make me love them more.... they put up with our habits and i reakon we have a lot more than them
Reply:%26quot;Son, if you don%26#039;t stop masturbating, you%26#039;ll go blind!
Dad,
I%26#039;m over here!
Reply:no, if they do spmething wrong thats coz they forgot but if we did thats our foolishness!!
Reply:no
Reply:It is strange, but the older they get, the more mellow they are. So the younger ones are hard to understand, but so are women. However, as you age, you become best friends, and all that other stuff just goes away. You understand each other and if you have lasted very long with each other, you just love each other in spite of it all. By that time, it is all over almost, so you better try harder sooner and you will have a better life together. You understand and it just does not really matter the older you get. We have lots of fun, and never argue any more. Been married too long I guess. I can%26#039;t tell you how long, because you would think I was too old, he,he.
Reply:woman = wo + man
so......u can
Reply:Yes. I can understand them and my understanding is that they are all puppies. Feed them, love them and play with them.
website design
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
So we are having an 8th grade celebration, what do you think of these?
Usually its the 8th grade banquet =\, now its the 8th grade celebration. So it casual, what do you think of these bermuda shorts?
http://www.aeropostale.com/product/index...
also, if you have time could you look on websites and help me pick out something to wear? I if you like the shorts pick like a CUTE top, maybe some shoes, jewelry. If you dont like them pick a new pair. They HAVE to be the long kind though. I dont care what website you get the clothes from!
So we are having an 8th grade celebration, what do you think of these?
i like the shorts just pair them with a flowy white/off white shirt and you%26#039;ll be gorgeous!
Reply:Those shorts are Cute! Wear this shirt with it!http://www.aeropostale.com/product/index...
http://www.hollisterco.com/webapp/wcs/st...
and then wear the tank under it it will look really cute!
http://claires.com/product.asp?name=prod... -necklace
Reply:well i kinda look on other sites...
here%26#039;s the picture...
http://i30.tinypic.com/vym620.jpg
the top and bottom are from aeropostale
and the wedges are from ae
Reply:i would say wear the shorts with a plain gray or white tank or t shirt and wedges. then wear a few layered necklaces in different lengths.
Reply:i like abrecrombie better~
Reply:which top??
its the wrong link
Reply:those are bomb
performing arts
http://www.aeropostale.com/product/index...
also, if you have time could you look on websites and help me pick out something to wear? I if you like the shorts pick like a CUTE top, maybe some shoes, jewelry. If you dont like them pick a new pair. They HAVE to be the long kind though. I dont care what website you get the clothes from!
So we are having an 8th grade celebration, what do you think of these?
i like the shorts just pair them with a flowy white/off white shirt and you%26#039;ll be gorgeous!
Reply:Those shorts are Cute! Wear this shirt with it!http://www.aeropostale.com/product/index...
http://www.hollisterco.com/webapp/wcs/st...
and then wear the tank under it it will look really cute!
http://claires.com/product.asp?name=prod... -necklace
Reply:well i kinda look on other sites...
here%26#039;s the picture...
http://i30.tinypic.com/vym620.jpg
the top and bottom are from aeropostale
and the wedges are from ae
Reply:i would say wear the shorts with a plain gray or white tank or t shirt and wedges. then wear a few layered necklaces in different lengths.
Reply:i like abrecrombie better~
Reply:which top??
its the wrong link
Reply:those are bomb
performing arts
Bcoz i am a man?
Because I%26#039;m a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.
Because I%26#039;m a man, when the car isn%26#039;t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I%26#039;m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, %26quot;I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn%26#039;t know where to start.%26quot; We will then drink beer.
Because I%26#039;m a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn%26#039;t an issue.
Because I%26#039;m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like %26quot;Cumin%26quot; or %26quot;Tofu%26quot;. For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which %26quot;feminine hygiene product%26quot; is a euphemism.
Because I%26#039;m a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I%26#039;m a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).
Because I%26#039;m a man, I don%26#039;t think we%26#039;re all that lost, and no, I don%26#039;t think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger -- I mean, how the hell could he know where we%26#039;re going?
Because I%26#039;m a man, there is no need to ask me what I%26#039;m thinking about. The answer is always either sex or baseball, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don%26#039;t.
Because I%26#039;m a man, I am capable of announcing, %26quot;One more beer and I really have to go%26quot;, and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I%26#039;ll be home soon, and no, I don%26#039;t understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. Like, what%26#039;s the connection?
Because I%26#039;m a man, you don%26#039;t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you%26#039;re crying at the end of it, I didn%26#039;t.
Because I%26#039;m a man, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating.
Because I%26#039;m a man, I think what you%26#039;re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I%26#039;m a man, and this is, after all, the 90%26#039;s, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I%26#039;ll do the rest.
THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE FOR WOMEN, TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THE MALE ANIMAL.
Bcoz i am a man?
Wow. Must have taken some time to type all this! Shawn, this is another one you have hit right on target! So true, so right. Of course there are some exceptions... but like I said %26quot;some%26quot;.
Reply:Shawn can I ask you what was your purpose to write this message?
and could you break from this mold?
Reply:Sorry mate but you actually tink people can be bothered to read all that!!??? jeez
Reply:are talking about my husband personally there cause that is him to a T
Reply:Because I%26#039;m a woman, I already know everything. Heh.
Reply:i agee..yes
Reply:whatever!
Reply:We are great.
Reply:its good a little long but good
Reply:Because I am women.......I%26#039;ll leave this one alone...
Reply:i understand more than you think...
lol...
:)...GOD BLESS!! and thnx 4 the message
Reply:ha ha ha
Reply:WOW.COOL!STAR 4 YOU!
Reply:I don%26#039;t know if everything is of you, but i do like this text, and i do like men as they are, if they weren%26#039;t as they are, the world shall be annoying. kisses
necklace
Because I%26#039;m a man, when the car isn%26#039;t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I%26#039;m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, %26quot;I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn%26#039;t know where to start.%26quot; We will then drink beer.
Because I%26#039;m a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn%26#039;t an issue.
Because I%26#039;m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like %26quot;Cumin%26quot; or %26quot;Tofu%26quot;. For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which %26quot;feminine hygiene product%26quot; is a euphemism.
Because I%26#039;m a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I%26#039;m a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).
Because I%26#039;m a man, I don%26#039;t think we%26#039;re all that lost, and no, I don%26#039;t think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger -- I mean, how the hell could he know where we%26#039;re going?
Because I%26#039;m a man, there is no need to ask me what I%26#039;m thinking about. The answer is always either sex or baseball, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don%26#039;t.
Because I%26#039;m a man, I am capable of announcing, %26quot;One more beer and I really have to go%26quot;, and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I%26#039;ll be home soon, and no, I don%26#039;t understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. Like, what%26#039;s the connection?
Because I%26#039;m a man, you don%26#039;t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you%26#039;re crying at the end of it, I didn%26#039;t.
Because I%26#039;m a man, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating.
Because I%26#039;m a man, I think what you%26#039;re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I%26#039;m a man, and this is, after all, the 90%26#039;s, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I%26#039;ll do the rest.
THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE FOR WOMEN, TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THE MALE ANIMAL.
Bcoz i am a man?
Wow. Must have taken some time to type all this! Shawn, this is another one you have hit right on target! So true, so right. Of course there are some exceptions... but like I said %26quot;some%26quot;.
Reply:Shawn can I ask you what was your purpose to write this message?
and could you break from this mold?
Reply:Sorry mate but you actually tink people can be bothered to read all that!!??? jeez
Reply:are talking about my husband personally there cause that is him to a T
Reply:Because I%26#039;m a woman, I already know everything. Heh.
Reply:i agee..yes
Reply:whatever!
Reply:We are great.
Reply:its good a little long but good
Reply:Because I am women.......I%26#039;ll leave this one alone...
Reply:i understand more than you think...
lol...
:)...GOD BLESS!! and thnx 4 the message
Reply:ha ha ha
Reply:WOW.COOL!STAR 4 YOU!
Reply:I don%26#039;t know if everything is of you, but i do like this text, and i do like men as they are, if they weren%26#039;t as they are, the world shall be annoying. kisses
necklace
She just being friendly or is she interested?? Looking for PLAYER advice!! VER LONG WILL GIVE POINTS!?
1. For example she would ask me what shoe looks better on me, and i would say everything looks good
on you, your too cute. Etc. She seems to shy away from these comments, looks away or ignored i said it,
but doesnt seem like a %26quot;get out of my face%26quot; look or anything.
2. I would joke around make fun of stuff shes self-concisous about herself, in a joking manner, but i dont
overdo it..
3. I would flirt by making stupid bets, saying if i sold this item today u gotta buy me a dinner, etc...
She would laff and say what about my bf? I say who cares?? she laffs (it shows i aint
scared, hopefully) Later that nite she sold the product i was suppose to sell (go figure) i asked her to
buy me dinner, she said haha i sold it though, and then i said then ill buy dinner,
she looked at me smiling and said ok haha..and said im a buy something expensive and laffed.
She just being friendly or is she interested?? Looking for PLAYER advice!! VER LONG WILL GIVE POINTS!?
dam as long as question but here i go..aight well she likes u i can almost sure..she does n by the way she wants u to feel here legs a gud sign u got a chance of hittin it..( im just sayin)....since her bf%26#039;s goin to korea(wat now were in war againist Korea?)aight well u got the better of it keep workin at it with her..u lookin gud rite now u don%26#039;t need much advice ..but if u do yea n fo real korean girls r freaks i use date this korean n black girl..dam she was an animal fo real...n she wa sfine 2..mayne ..they gud fo real...
Reply:sounds like she likes you, as much as you like her.
take her out and enjoy yourselves and see what happens.
if you two are old enogh or at least if it is ok with your parents.
Reply:LOL korean
here we go ima gonna write a novel
ima korean....
ive dated korean nunas, korean nurses, random korean girls i met at clubs, my korean professor, ive even dated my ex girlfriends best friend, and her friend at the same time.
all these things I am not proud of because i learned many things the hard way, and ive had my heart broken. by the girl i loved.
let me tell ya this man....
korean girls are the hottest, sexyest, naughtiest, most fun beautiful women in the world.... BUT
they are also the most foxest sly girls man.
yeah hell, U may think that your got this girl on a fcukin leash, but from what ima read.... shes got you on her pinky man. no offence
the prettier the slyer in my opinion. bet shes the hottest little thing you ever seen and touched. dun let it go sooo fast...
a girl whos met ya for a week.... and shes already touching you.. (when girls touch, its an indication to other women that YOU are taken by HER) OMg i can Just seee her doing that man.... accidently brushing by you, her hair like blowing in your face.... LOLZ
have you Ever met her BF? hes mite be the nicest thingy alive. proli unlucky thing too, hes going to army.... and you proli dun have to, yeah she KNows the inevitable that once in army two whole years.. she wants out.
shes could be using you. using you to get out, using you coz you treat her like a princess. shes proli gonna date you guys both, and slowly stop sending letters to her bf. shiftly little thing
dunno man.... its only been a short period of time.
BUT on the other hand...
i could be Totally wrong... maybe this girl is alrite, maybe she aint the vixen ima imagining from what you wrote.
mayb shes scared, scared that she cant push you away strongly, after all getting a job in korea is reali reali hard, and ur bosses son. %26gt;.%26lt; but.... i doubt it.
i recon shes got a little sumthing for ya. if your looking for fun, and you dun reali reali like her, yeah go ahead man...
but NEVER EVER EVER listen to what a girl says about her BF. girls say alot of crap about their men, when they in distress....
they just gotta let it out some place... half of it usuali aient even true. yeah her talking bout her BF... thats what her girls friends are for. shes a real piece of work using that on you.
Oh and one more thing... if a guy was to pull my woman while me going tripping... id get ma bro to fcuk him without a second thought, so find out who the guy is b4 you jump in the love garden
Reply:I don%26#039;t think she likes you like that. I think that she is just friendly. I think that she needs to stop sending you mixed messages. Why don%26#039;t you just ask her if she likes you, then you will know. I flirt with guys and talk to them how she talks to you all the time and when I go home, they don%26#039;t even cross my mind.
Reply:i think she is interested but at the same time i believe she is confused.you should either give it more time and the answers your looking for may be revealed,or talk to her about how you feel,keep in mind you have only known her for a short time.
Reply:imo
she%26#039;s looking for a 3rd to party,
3some
@ topic maker
who cares what my questions are about?
look at what i have for best answers and answers....
btw being a %26quot;pimp%26quot; means u dont ask for relationship help online. which i obviously dont.
Reply:its total no no what do you think if she acts kool then shes yours if she has a bf then how come she would like you
if you have that much guts just tell her that you are in love with her just bare the reaction
risk is life bro
home theater
on you, your too cute. Etc. She seems to shy away from these comments, looks away or ignored i said it,
but doesnt seem like a %26quot;get out of my face%26quot; look or anything.
2. I would joke around make fun of stuff shes self-concisous about herself, in a joking manner, but i dont
overdo it..
3. I would flirt by making stupid bets, saying if i sold this item today u gotta buy me a dinner, etc...
She would laff and say what about my bf? I say who cares?? she laffs (it shows i aint
scared, hopefully) Later that nite she sold the product i was suppose to sell (go figure) i asked her to
buy me dinner, she said haha i sold it though, and then i said then ill buy dinner,
she looked at me smiling and said ok haha..and said im a buy something expensive and laffed.
She just being friendly or is she interested?? Looking for PLAYER advice!! VER LONG WILL GIVE POINTS!?
dam as long as question but here i go..aight well she likes u i can almost sure..she does n by the way she wants u to feel here legs a gud sign u got a chance of hittin it..( im just sayin)....since her bf%26#039;s goin to korea(wat now were in war againist Korea?)aight well u got the better of it keep workin at it with her..u lookin gud rite now u don%26#039;t need much advice ..but if u do yea n fo real korean girls r freaks i use date this korean n black girl..dam she was an animal fo real...n she wa sfine 2..mayne ..they gud fo real...
Reply:sounds like she likes you, as much as you like her.
take her out and enjoy yourselves and see what happens.
if you two are old enogh or at least if it is ok with your parents.
Reply:LOL korean
here we go ima gonna write a novel
ima korean....
ive dated korean nunas, korean nurses, random korean girls i met at clubs, my korean professor, ive even dated my ex girlfriends best friend, and her friend at the same time.
all these things I am not proud of because i learned many things the hard way, and ive had my heart broken. by the girl i loved.
let me tell ya this man....
korean girls are the hottest, sexyest, naughtiest, most fun beautiful women in the world.... BUT
they are also the most foxest sly girls man.
yeah hell, U may think that your got this girl on a fcukin leash, but from what ima read.... shes got you on her pinky man. no offence
the prettier the slyer in my opinion. bet shes the hottest little thing you ever seen and touched. dun let it go sooo fast...
a girl whos met ya for a week.... and shes already touching you.. (when girls touch, its an indication to other women that YOU are taken by HER) OMg i can Just seee her doing that man.... accidently brushing by you, her hair like blowing in your face.... LOLZ
have you Ever met her BF? hes mite be the nicest thingy alive. proli unlucky thing too, hes going to army.... and you proli dun have to, yeah she KNows the inevitable that once in army two whole years.. she wants out.
shes could be using you. using you to get out, using you coz you treat her like a princess. shes proli gonna date you guys both, and slowly stop sending letters to her bf. shiftly little thing
dunno man.... its only been a short period of time.
BUT on the other hand...
i could be Totally wrong... maybe this girl is alrite, maybe she aint the vixen ima imagining from what you wrote.
mayb shes scared, scared that she cant push you away strongly, after all getting a job in korea is reali reali hard, and ur bosses son. %26gt;.%26lt; but.... i doubt it.
i recon shes got a little sumthing for ya. if your looking for fun, and you dun reali reali like her, yeah go ahead man...
but NEVER EVER EVER listen to what a girl says about her BF. girls say alot of crap about their men, when they in distress....
they just gotta let it out some place... half of it usuali aient even true. yeah her talking bout her BF... thats what her girls friends are for. shes a real piece of work using that on you.
Oh and one more thing... if a guy was to pull my woman while me going tripping... id get ma bro to fcuk him without a second thought, so find out who the guy is b4 you jump in the love garden
Reply:I don%26#039;t think she likes you like that. I think that she is just friendly. I think that she needs to stop sending you mixed messages. Why don%26#039;t you just ask her if she likes you, then you will know. I flirt with guys and talk to them how she talks to you all the time and when I go home, they don%26#039;t even cross my mind.
Reply:i think she is interested but at the same time i believe she is confused.you should either give it more time and the answers your looking for may be revealed,or talk to her about how you feel,keep in mind you have only known her for a short time.
Reply:imo
she%26#039;s looking for a 3rd to party,
3some
@ topic maker
who cares what my questions are about?
look at what i have for best answers and answers....
btw being a %26quot;pimp%26quot; means u dont ask for relationship help online. which i obviously dont.
Reply:its total no no what do you think if she acts kool then shes yours if she has a bf then how come she would like you
if you have that much guts just tell her that you are in love with her just bare the reaction
risk is life bro
home theater
She telling me to backoff? Friends?? Or is she interested?? Looking For Player Advice ITS VERY LONG!!?
1. I Called her cute couple of times, 1-2 times every couple of days.. to give her hints.
For example she would ask me what shoe looks better on me, and i would say everything looks good
on you, your too cute. Etc. She seems to shy away from these comments, looks away or ignored i said it,
but doesnt seem like a %26quot;get out of my face%26quot; look or anything.
2. I would joke around make fun of stuff shes self-concisous about herself, i call her chubby
in a joking manner, she would laugh hit me in the arm, but i dont overdo it.
3. I would flirt by making stupid bets, saying if i sold this item today u gotta buy me a dinner, etc...
She would laff and say what about my bf? I say who cares?? she laffs (it shows i aint
scared, hopefully) Later that nite she sold the product i was suppose to sell (go figure) i asked her to
buy me dinner, she said haha i sold it though, and then i said then ill buy dinner,
she looked at me smiling and said ok haha..and said im a buy something expensive and laffed.
She telling me to backoff? Friends?? Or is she interested?? Looking For Player Advice ITS VERY LONG!!?
dude thats cold, going for a girl who is takin by a guy who is in the army no less. i get what your sayin but seems a bit low.
Reply:I%26#039;m a girl. Yeah, she likes you, but she has a boyfriend. You shoudn%26#039;t be messing with her, you%26#039;re gonna ruin it with her and her boyfriend. And all you wanna do is tap that anyways. Bad, bad boy!
Reply:Say homboi the boyfriend doesnt matter he might as not even be mentioned. Jus out of nowhere invite her to go do somthin with ya like catch a flick or somplace kewl and if she calles it a date then thats what it is.
Reply:Hate to say but you%26#039;re kinda coming on too strong. Flattery is nice but you%26#039;ve only known her a week. Cool it and just be normal. She%26#039;s got a boyfriend. If you back off and if she is interested, she will come to you. (Like flirt and be more touchy, cause it sounds like she%26#039;s a toucher.)
Get to know her a little better and then see if she%26#039;ll go out with you but you%26#039;re kinda coming off a little desperate because any opportunity you have you%26#039;re putting yourself out as %26quot;available%26quot;. You just need to be smoother... Don%26#039;t act like she%26#039;s the first hot thing you%26#039;ve ever seen. Like you%26#039;re not needy for the company of a female. (Even if you have to lie...but be realistic in your lying)
BTW: joking or not no girl really likes to be called chubby.
Reply:well duh she likes you. even though she has a bf. that is leaving she knows this. and you guys constanly flirt with each other... it%26#039;s really common sense. when he leaves guess what going to happen? your coming into the picture.
Reply:flirt with her more. but you are in korea, and what you are doing isnt playing, your looking for a girlfriend.
Reply:BOTH 19 AND IMPRESSIONABLE. DOES SHE LIKE YOU OR YOUR DAD IS THE OWNER STATUS?.
BOYFRIEND GOING OVERSEAS AND HAS NOT ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM IS A DEFINITE PLUS+
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART. IF YOU CAN SAY WHAT YOU HAVE ABOVE A LOT YOU LIKE HER AND SE IS INTERESTED IN YOU?
Nanny
For example she would ask me what shoe looks better on me, and i would say everything looks good
on you, your too cute. Etc. She seems to shy away from these comments, looks away or ignored i said it,
but doesnt seem like a %26quot;get out of my face%26quot; look or anything.
2. I would joke around make fun of stuff shes self-concisous about herself, i call her chubby
in a joking manner, she would laugh hit me in the arm, but i dont overdo it.
3. I would flirt by making stupid bets, saying if i sold this item today u gotta buy me a dinner, etc...
She would laff and say what about my bf? I say who cares?? she laffs (it shows i aint
scared, hopefully) Later that nite she sold the product i was suppose to sell (go figure) i asked her to
buy me dinner, she said haha i sold it though, and then i said then ill buy dinner,
she looked at me smiling and said ok haha..and said im a buy something expensive and laffed.
She telling me to backoff? Friends?? Or is she interested?? Looking For Player Advice ITS VERY LONG!!?
dude thats cold, going for a girl who is takin by a guy who is in the army no less. i get what your sayin but seems a bit low.
Reply:I%26#039;m a girl. Yeah, she likes you, but she has a boyfriend. You shoudn%26#039;t be messing with her, you%26#039;re gonna ruin it with her and her boyfriend. And all you wanna do is tap that anyways. Bad, bad boy!
Reply:Say homboi the boyfriend doesnt matter he might as not even be mentioned. Jus out of nowhere invite her to go do somthin with ya like catch a flick or somplace kewl and if she calles it a date then thats what it is.
Reply:Hate to say but you%26#039;re kinda coming on too strong. Flattery is nice but you%26#039;ve only known her a week. Cool it and just be normal. She%26#039;s got a boyfriend. If you back off and if she is interested, she will come to you. (Like flirt and be more touchy, cause it sounds like she%26#039;s a toucher.)
Get to know her a little better and then see if she%26#039;ll go out with you but you%26#039;re kinda coming off a little desperate because any opportunity you have you%26#039;re putting yourself out as %26quot;available%26quot;. You just need to be smoother... Don%26#039;t act like she%26#039;s the first hot thing you%26#039;ve ever seen. Like you%26#039;re not needy for the company of a female. (Even if you have to lie...but be realistic in your lying)
BTW: joking or not no girl really likes to be called chubby.
Reply:well duh she likes you. even though she has a bf. that is leaving she knows this. and you guys constanly flirt with each other... it%26#039;s really common sense. when he leaves guess what going to happen? your coming into the picture.
Reply:flirt with her more. but you are in korea, and what you are doing isnt playing, your looking for a girlfriend.
Reply:BOTH 19 AND IMPRESSIONABLE. DOES SHE LIKE YOU OR YOUR DAD IS THE OWNER STATUS?.
BOYFRIEND GOING OVERSEAS AND HAS NOT ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM IS A DEFINITE PLUS+
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART. IF YOU CAN SAY WHAT YOU HAVE ABOVE A LOT YOU LIKE HER AND SE IS INTERESTED IN YOU?
Nanny
So, Osama Walks into This Bar, See?
and Bush says, %26quot;Whad%26#039;l%26#039;ya have, pardner?%26quot; and Osama says...
But wait a minute. I%26#039;d better shut my mouth. The sign here in the airport says, %26quot;Security is no joking matter.%26quot; But if security%26#039;s no joking matter, why does this guy dressed in a high-school marching band outfit tell me to dump my Frappuccino and take off my shoes? All I can say is, Thank the Lord the %26quot;shoe bomber%26quot; didn%26#039;t carry Semtex in his underpants.
Today%26#039;s a RED and ORANGE ALERT day. How odd. They just caught the British guys with the chemistry sets. But when these guys were about to blow up airliners, the USA was on YELLOW alert. That%26#039;s a %26quot;lowered%26quot; threat notice.
According to the press office from the Department of Homeland Security, lowered-threat Yellow means that there were no special inspections of passengers or cargo. Isn%26#039;t it nice of Mr. Bush to alert Osama when half our security forces are given the day off? Hmm. I asked an Israeli security expert why his nation doesn%26#039;t use these pretty color codes.
He asked me if, when I woke up, I checked the day%26#039;s terror color.
%26quot;I can%26#039;t say I ever have. I mean, who would?%26quot;
He smiled. %26quot;The terrorists.%26quot;
America is the only nation on the planet that kindly informs bombers, hijackers and berserkers the days on which they won%26#039;t be monitored. You%26#039;ve got to get up pretty early in the morning to get a jump on George Bush%26#039;s team.
There are three possible explanations for the Administration%26#039;s publishing a good-day-for-bombing color guidebook.
1. God is on Osama%26#039;s side.
2. George is on Osama%26#039;s side.
3. Fear sells better than sex.
A gold star if you picked #3.
The Fear Factory
I%26#039;m going to tell you something which is straight-up heresy: America is not under attack by terrorists. There is no WAR on terror because, except for one day five years ago, al Qaeda has pretty much left us alone.
That%26#039;s because Osama got what he wanted. There%26#039;s no mystery about what Al Qaeda was after. Like everyone from the Girl Scouts to Bono, Osama put his wish on his web site. He had a single demand: %26quot;Crusaders out of the land of the two Holy Places.%26quot; To translate: get US troops out of Saudi Arabia.
And George Bush gave it to him. On April 29, 2003, two days before landing on the aircraft carrier Lincoln, our self-described %26quot;War President%26quot; quietly put out a notice that he was withdrawing our troops from Saudi soil. In other words, our cowering cowboy gave in whimpering to Osama%26#039;s demand.
The press took no note. They were all wiggie over Bush%26#039;s waddling around the carrier deck in a disco-aged jump suit announcing, %26quot;MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.%26quot; But it wasn%26#039;t America%26#039;s mission that was accomplished, it was Osama%26#039;s.
Am I saying there%26#039;s no danger, no threat? Sure there is: 46 million Americans don%26#039;t have health insurance. IBM is legally stealing from its employees%26#039; pension plan and United Airlines has dumped its pensions altogether. Four-million three-hundred thousand Americans were injured, made sick or killed by their jobs last year. TXU Corporation is right now building four monster-sized power plants in Texas that will burn skuzzy gunk called %26quot;lignite.%26quot; The filth it will pour into the sky will snuff a heck of a lot more Americans than some goofy group of fanatics with bottles of hydrogen peroxide.
But Americans don%26#039;t ask for real protection from what%26#039;s killing us. The War on Terror is the Weapon of Mass Distraction. Instead of demanding health insurance, we have 59 million of our fellow citizens pooping in their pants with fear of Al Qaeda, waddling to the polls, crying, %26quot;Georgie save us!%26quot;
And what does he give us? In my own small town, the federal government has paid for loading an SUV with .50 caliber machine guns to watch for an Al Qaeda attack at the dock of the ferry that takes tourists to the Indian casino in Connecticut. The casino dock is my town%26#039;s officially designated %26quot;Critical Asset and Vulnerability Infrastructure Point (CAVIP).%26quot; (To find the most vulnerable points to attack in the USA, Al Qaeda can download a list from the Department of Homeland Security -- no kidding.)
But that%26#039;s not all. Bush is protecting us from English hijackers with a fearsome anti-terrorist tool: the Virginia-class submarine. The V-boat was originally meant to hunt Soviet subs. But there are no more Soviet subs. So, General Dynamics and Lockheed Martin have %26quot;refitted%26quot; these Cold War dinosaurs with new torpedoes redesigned to carry counter-terror commandoes. That%26#039;s right: when we find Osama%26#039;s beach house, we can shoot our boys right up under his picnic table and take him out. These Marines-in-a-tube injector boats cost $2.5 billion each -- and our President%26#039;s ordered half a dozen new ones.
Lynn Cheney, the Veep%26#039;s wife, still takes in compensation from Lockheed as a former board member. I%26#039;m sure that has nothing to do with this multi-billion dollar %26quot;anti-terror%26quot; contract.
Fear sells better than sex. Fear is the sales pitch for many lucrative products: from billion-dollar sailor injectors to one very lucrative war in Mesopotamia (a third of a trillion dollars doled out, no audits, no questions asked).
Better than toothpaste that makes our teeth whiter than white, this stuff will make us safer than safe. It%26#039;s political junk food, the cheap filling in the flashy tube. What we don%26#039;t get is safety from the real dangers: a life-threatening health-care system, lung-murdering pollution production and a trade deficit with China that%26#039;s reducing mid-America to coolie status. Protecting us from these true threats would take a slice of the profits of the Lockheeds, the Exxons and the rest of the owning class.
War on Terror is class war by other means -- to keep you from asking for real protection from true menace, the landlords of our nation give you fake protection from manufactured dangers. And they remind you to be afraid every time you fly to see Aunt Millie and have to give up your hemorrhoid ointment to the underpaid guy in the bell-hop suit with a security badge.
Oh, hey, you never got the punch line.
So, Osama Walks into This Bar, See? and Bush says, %26quot;Whad%26#039;l%26#039;ya have, pardner?%26quot; and Osama says, %26quot;Well, George, what are you serving today?%26quot; and Bush says, %26quot;Fear,%26quot; and Osama shouts, %26quot;Fear for everybody!%26quot; and George pours it on for the crowd. Then the presidential bartender says, %26quot;Hey, who%26#039;s buying?%26quot; and Osama points a thumb at the crowd sucking down their brew. %26quot;They are,%26quot; he says. And the two of them share a quiet laugh.
So, Osama Walks into This Bar, See?
I think you misunderstood the name of this section of Yahoo!
It is called Yahoo! Answers, not Yahoo! Political Rants. And, although I don%26#039;t like Bush as President either, please ask a question or go somewhere else with your views.
Reply:This is great! Good story. I say to the USA....Shame on you!! You bully!! Report It
Reply:After I had to scroll through your question I forgot my answer.
Reply:%26quot;Here, here, well spoken, Bruce.%26quot;
(A little Monty Python ought to kick things up a notch.)
Reply:I have to agree with the shoe bomber joke. I actually parodied a CNN article about the liquids ban in regards to clothing, but my wife has yet to put it on her blog, and I am too lazy to get one (if I do, I will be expected to keep adding to it...). Ah well, such is life.
Just don%26#039;t bother flying, if you can help it.
I prefer the joke %26quot;A man walks into a bar.%26quot;
games hardware
But wait a minute. I%26#039;d better shut my mouth. The sign here in the airport says, %26quot;Security is no joking matter.%26quot; But if security%26#039;s no joking matter, why does this guy dressed in a high-school marching band outfit tell me to dump my Frappuccino and take off my shoes? All I can say is, Thank the Lord the %26quot;shoe bomber%26quot; didn%26#039;t carry Semtex in his underpants.
Today%26#039;s a RED and ORANGE ALERT day. How odd. They just caught the British guys with the chemistry sets. But when these guys were about to blow up airliners, the USA was on YELLOW alert. That%26#039;s a %26quot;lowered%26quot; threat notice.
According to the press office from the Department of Homeland Security, lowered-threat Yellow means that there were no special inspections of passengers or cargo. Isn%26#039;t it nice of Mr. Bush to alert Osama when half our security forces are given the day off? Hmm. I asked an Israeli security expert why his nation doesn%26#039;t use these pretty color codes.
He asked me if, when I woke up, I checked the day%26#039;s terror color.
%26quot;I can%26#039;t say I ever have. I mean, who would?%26quot;
He smiled. %26quot;The terrorists.%26quot;
America is the only nation on the planet that kindly informs bombers, hijackers and berserkers the days on which they won%26#039;t be monitored. You%26#039;ve got to get up pretty early in the morning to get a jump on George Bush%26#039;s team.
There are three possible explanations for the Administration%26#039;s publishing a good-day-for-bombing color guidebook.
1. God is on Osama%26#039;s side.
2. George is on Osama%26#039;s side.
3. Fear sells better than sex.
A gold star if you picked #3.
The Fear Factory
I%26#039;m going to tell you something which is straight-up heresy: America is not under attack by terrorists. There is no WAR on terror because, except for one day five years ago, al Qaeda has pretty much left us alone.
That%26#039;s because Osama got what he wanted. There%26#039;s no mystery about what Al Qaeda was after. Like everyone from the Girl Scouts to Bono, Osama put his wish on his web site. He had a single demand: %26quot;Crusaders out of the land of the two Holy Places.%26quot; To translate: get US troops out of Saudi Arabia.
And George Bush gave it to him. On April 29, 2003, two days before landing on the aircraft carrier Lincoln, our self-described %26quot;War President%26quot; quietly put out a notice that he was withdrawing our troops from Saudi soil. In other words, our cowering cowboy gave in whimpering to Osama%26#039;s demand.
The press took no note. They were all wiggie over Bush%26#039;s waddling around the carrier deck in a disco-aged jump suit announcing, %26quot;MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.%26quot; But it wasn%26#039;t America%26#039;s mission that was accomplished, it was Osama%26#039;s.
Am I saying there%26#039;s no danger, no threat? Sure there is: 46 million Americans don%26#039;t have health insurance. IBM is legally stealing from its employees%26#039; pension plan and United Airlines has dumped its pensions altogether. Four-million three-hundred thousand Americans were injured, made sick or killed by their jobs last year. TXU Corporation is right now building four monster-sized power plants in Texas that will burn skuzzy gunk called %26quot;lignite.%26quot; The filth it will pour into the sky will snuff a heck of a lot more Americans than some goofy group of fanatics with bottles of hydrogen peroxide.
But Americans don%26#039;t ask for real protection from what%26#039;s killing us. The War on Terror is the Weapon of Mass Distraction. Instead of demanding health insurance, we have 59 million of our fellow citizens pooping in their pants with fear of Al Qaeda, waddling to the polls, crying, %26quot;Georgie save us!%26quot;
And what does he give us? In my own small town, the federal government has paid for loading an SUV with .50 caliber machine guns to watch for an Al Qaeda attack at the dock of the ferry that takes tourists to the Indian casino in Connecticut. The casino dock is my town%26#039;s officially designated %26quot;Critical Asset and Vulnerability Infrastructure Point (CAVIP).%26quot; (To find the most vulnerable points to attack in the USA, Al Qaeda can download a list from the Department of Homeland Security -- no kidding.)
But that%26#039;s not all. Bush is protecting us from English hijackers with a fearsome anti-terrorist tool: the Virginia-class submarine. The V-boat was originally meant to hunt Soviet subs. But there are no more Soviet subs. So, General Dynamics and Lockheed Martin have %26quot;refitted%26quot; these Cold War dinosaurs with new torpedoes redesigned to carry counter-terror commandoes. That%26#039;s right: when we find Osama%26#039;s beach house, we can shoot our boys right up under his picnic table and take him out. These Marines-in-a-tube injector boats cost $2.5 billion each -- and our President%26#039;s ordered half a dozen new ones.
Lynn Cheney, the Veep%26#039;s wife, still takes in compensation from Lockheed as a former board member. I%26#039;m sure that has nothing to do with this multi-billion dollar %26quot;anti-terror%26quot; contract.
Fear sells better than sex. Fear is the sales pitch for many lucrative products: from billion-dollar sailor injectors to one very lucrative war in Mesopotamia (a third of a trillion dollars doled out, no audits, no questions asked).
Better than toothpaste that makes our teeth whiter than white, this stuff will make us safer than safe. It%26#039;s political junk food, the cheap filling in the flashy tube. What we don%26#039;t get is safety from the real dangers: a life-threatening health-care system, lung-murdering pollution production and a trade deficit with China that%26#039;s reducing mid-America to coolie status. Protecting us from these true threats would take a slice of the profits of the Lockheeds, the Exxons and the rest of the owning class.
War on Terror is class war by other means -- to keep you from asking for real protection from true menace, the landlords of our nation give you fake protection from manufactured dangers. And they remind you to be afraid every time you fly to see Aunt Millie and have to give up your hemorrhoid ointment to the underpaid guy in the bell-hop suit with a security badge.
Oh, hey, you never got the punch line.
So, Osama Walks into This Bar, See? and Bush says, %26quot;Whad%26#039;l%26#039;ya have, pardner?%26quot; and Osama says, %26quot;Well, George, what are you serving today?%26quot; and Bush says, %26quot;Fear,%26quot; and Osama shouts, %26quot;Fear for everybody!%26quot; and George pours it on for the crowd. Then the presidential bartender says, %26quot;Hey, who%26#039;s buying?%26quot; and Osama points a thumb at the crowd sucking down their brew. %26quot;They are,%26quot; he says. And the two of them share a quiet laugh.
So, Osama Walks into This Bar, See?
I think you misunderstood the name of this section of Yahoo!
It is called Yahoo! Answers, not Yahoo! Political Rants. And, although I don%26#039;t like Bush as President either, please ask a question or go somewhere else with your views.
Reply:This is great! Good story. I say to the USA....Shame on you!! You bully!! Report It
Reply:After I had to scroll through your question I forgot my answer.
Reply:%26quot;Here, here, well spoken, Bruce.%26quot;
(A little Monty Python ought to kick things up a notch.)
Reply:I have to agree with the shoe bomber joke. I actually parodied a CNN article about the liquids ban in regards to clothing, but my wife has yet to put it on her blog, and I am too lazy to get one (if I do, I will be expected to keep adding to it...). Ah well, such is life.
Just don%26#039;t bother flying, if you can help it.
I prefer the joke %26quot;A man walks into a bar.%26quot;
games hardware
She interested or just being friendly?? Looking for playas advice. ONLY!! VERY LONG will give points!!!?
1. For example she would ask me what shoe looks better on me, and i would say everything looks good
on you, your too cute. Etc. She seems to shy away from these comments, looks away or ignored i said it,
but doesnt seem like a %26quot;get out of my face%26quot; look or anything.
2. I would joke around make fun of stuff shes self-concisous about herself, i call her chubby
in a joking manner, she would laugh hit me in the arm, but i dont overdo it.
3. I would flirt by making stupid bets, saying if i sold this item today u gotta buy me a dinner, etc...
She would laff and say what about my bf? I say who cares?? she laffs (it shows i aint
scared, hopefully) Later that nite she sold the product i was suppose to sell (go figure) i asked her to
buy me dinner, she said haha i sold it though, and then i said then ill buy dinner,
she looked at me smiling and said ok haha..and said im a buy something expensive and laffed.
She interested or just being friendly?? Looking for playas advice. ONLY!! VERY LONG will give points!!!?
No man, sorry. She is not into you (YET).
Stop messing things up, Stp being a nice friendly guy (if she is a 9 or a 10).
You need to make fun of her anytime you get a chance. If she touch you, that a good sign. Tease her that she is trowing herself at you and tell her that you are not an easy guy to get.
Don%26#039;t be a wussy, meet others women and mostly try to get their phone numbers while she is looking. Do not make this a big deal at all man. They are 2.5 billion female out here. Last advice NEVER give your power to a female, NEVER be nice to a female just because she is beautiful, NEVER seek approval from women and never EVER date a single female at time. Date 2 or 3 everytime and tell them that you are looking for the best among them.
From what u said, the girl is not into you. Women don%26#039;t love you because you showed them how you love them or how special (nice guy) you are. Women love you because they are attracted to you. The things that I know women are attracted too are money and power. If you don%26#039;t have those you have to be an alpha male to create attraction. So be the alpha not the Wussy.
health care
on you, your too cute. Etc. She seems to shy away from these comments, looks away or ignored i said it,
but doesnt seem like a %26quot;get out of my face%26quot; look or anything.
2. I would joke around make fun of stuff shes self-concisous about herself, i call her chubby
in a joking manner, she would laugh hit me in the arm, but i dont overdo it.
3. I would flirt by making stupid bets, saying if i sold this item today u gotta buy me a dinner, etc...
She would laff and say what about my bf? I say who cares?? she laffs (it shows i aint
scared, hopefully) Later that nite she sold the product i was suppose to sell (go figure) i asked her to
buy me dinner, she said haha i sold it though, and then i said then ill buy dinner,
she looked at me smiling and said ok haha..and said im a buy something expensive and laffed.
She interested or just being friendly?? Looking for playas advice. ONLY!! VERY LONG will give points!!!?
No man, sorry. She is not into you (YET).
Stop messing things up, Stp being a nice friendly guy (if she is a 9 or a 10).
You need to make fun of her anytime you get a chance. If she touch you, that a good sign. Tease her that she is trowing herself at you and tell her that you are not an easy guy to get.
Don%26#039;t be a wussy, meet others women and mostly try to get their phone numbers while she is looking. Do not make this a big deal at all man. They are 2.5 billion female out here. Last advice NEVER give your power to a female, NEVER be nice to a female just because she is beautiful, NEVER seek approval from women and never EVER date a single female at time. Date 2 or 3 everytime and tell them that you are looking for the best among them.
From what u said, the girl is not into you. Women don%26#039;t love you because you showed them how you love them or how special (nice guy) you are. Women love you because they are attracted to you. The things that I know women are attracted too are money and power. If you don%26#039;t have those you have to be an alpha male to create attraction. So be the alpha not the Wussy.
health care
She being nice or is she interested??? This is VERY LONG but please help ill give points!!?
1. I Called her cute couple of times, 1-2 times every couple of days.. to give her hints.
For example she would ask me what shoe looks better on me, and i would say everything looks good
on you, your too cute. Etc. She seems to shy away from these comments, looks away or ignored i said it,
but doesnt seem like a %26quot;get out of my face%26quot; look or anything.
2. I would joke around make fun of stuff shes self-concisous about herself, call her chubby,
in a joking manner, she would laugh hit me in the arm, but i dont overdo it.
3. I would flirt by making stupid bets, saying if i sold this item today u gotta buy me a dinner, etc...
She would laff and say what about my bf? I say who cares?? she laffs (it shows i aint
scared, hopefully) Later that nite she sold the product i was suppose to sell (go figure) i asked her to
buy me dinner, she said haha i sold it though, and then i said then ill buy dinner,
she looked at me smiling and said ok haha..and said im a buy something expensive and laffed.
She being nice or is she interested??? This is VERY LONG but please help ill give points!!?
she is interested.......
Reply:Yeah girls definately love to be called chubby, you keep it up slick.
Reply:i dont think she likes you
she brings up her boyfriend so that you%26#039;ll get the hint that she already likes someone else
the reason she laughs is because she%26#039;s just trying to be polite and also she%26#039;s uncomfortable. and plus you said you are the owners son so she doesn%26#039;t want to get on your bad side
also a lot of girls get offended if you call them chubby even if they act like they%26#039;re not angry inside they%26#039;re hurt so like thats not a good flirting tactic
Reply:Well, I wouldn%26#039;t call her chubby anymore--especially if she%26#039;s self concious about it; it%26#039;s just plain--not funny. This is a bit hard to answer since I%26#039;m in America and I don%26#039;t know the Korean culture about personal space and touch. But I would say that she is interested if she regularly makes physical contact with you when it%26#039;s not necessary. While some people are %26quot;touchy%26quot; in a friendly manner, it%26#039;s often seen as rude behavior--impeding on others%26#039; personal space. If she weren%26#039;t interested she would say %26quot;no, I have a bf%26quot; instead of %26quot;what about my bf?%26quot; but it sounds as if she%26#039;s getting herself into a situation that is conflicting and she doesn%26#039;t know what to do about it.
Just be the big guy and say, %26quot;I like you and I%26#039;d like to get to know you better, lets have lunch, dinner, coffee, etc.%26quot; if she says, %26quot;no, I have a bf%26quot; then you know she%26#039;s serious about her beau. The worst she can say is %26quot;no%26quot;--then it%26#039;s over and you can stop stressing about whether or not she is interested in you.
Good luck.
Reply:well maybe is just being nice, i guess she saw your attitude with her close brother, cousin or boyfriend which she misses a lot...if you want you can talk to her i guess there is nothing wrong about being true to yourself ....it is a way things would be clear to both of you since she had a boyfriend.
nwei, gudlak.
Reply:Dude please stop teasing her that aint good, to be honest same thing happened to me, but the kicker is he did all those things your doing it got him trouble though cause he went to far at work but what im trying to say is i didnt know he liked me,,,, you got to be bold and direct, she may suspect it but you never really siad it either,,,, got for it all you can get is a yes or no,,,, i say do it!!!!!
Reply:idk i just read the last line
Reply:I think she%26#039;s just nice, sorry.
Reply:first of all your the ******* owners son, of course she%26#039;s gotta be nice to you. 2nd she has a boyfriend, 3rd you only known her for a week, and finally she seems to want to be friends but she doesn%26#039;t want anything else. Most girls ***** about their guys, it%26#039;s what they do. Dude, way to fit chubby in their smoothly. I always say %26quot;hey fatty%26quot; then ask her to make the pillsbarry doughboy sound as you poke her.!!!!!! It totally gets em! if that doesn%26#039;t work ask if she%26#039;s a chipmonk or if when she%26#039;s due....chicks ******* love that!
books
For example she would ask me what shoe looks better on me, and i would say everything looks good
on you, your too cute. Etc. She seems to shy away from these comments, looks away or ignored i said it,
but doesnt seem like a %26quot;get out of my face%26quot; look or anything.
2. I would joke around make fun of stuff shes self-concisous about herself, call her chubby,
in a joking manner, she would laugh hit me in the arm, but i dont overdo it.
3. I would flirt by making stupid bets, saying if i sold this item today u gotta buy me a dinner, etc...
She would laff and say what about my bf? I say who cares?? she laffs (it shows i aint
scared, hopefully) Later that nite she sold the product i was suppose to sell (go figure) i asked her to
buy me dinner, she said haha i sold it though, and then i said then ill buy dinner,
she looked at me smiling and said ok haha..and said im a buy something expensive and laffed.
She being nice or is she interested??? This is VERY LONG but please help ill give points!!?
she is interested.......
Reply:Yeah girls definately love to be called chubby, you keep it up slick.
Reply:i dont think she likes you
she brings up her boyfriend so that you%26#039;ll get the hint that she already likes someone else
the reason she laughs is because she%26#039;s just trying to be polite and also she%26#039;s uncomfortable. and plus you said you are the owners son so she doesn%26#039;t want to get on your bad side
also a lot of girls get offended if you call them chubby even if they act like they%26#039;re not angry inside they%26#039;re hurt so like thats not a good flirting tactic
Reply:Well, I wouldn%26#039;t call her chubby anymore--especially if she%26#039;s self concious about it; it%26#039;s just plain--not funny. This is a bit hard to answer since I%26#039;m in America and I don%26#039;t know the Korean culture about personal space and touch. But I would say that she is interested if she regularly makes physical contact with you when it%26#039;s not necessary. While some people are %26quot;touchy%26quot; in a friendly manner, it%26#039;s often seen as rude behavior--impeding on others%26#039; personal space. If she weren%26#039;t interested she would say %26quot;no, I have a bf%26quot; instead of %26quot;what about my bf?%26quot; but it sounds as if she%26#039;s getting herself into a situation that is conflicting and she doesn%26#039;t know what to do about it.
Just be the big guy and say, %26quot;I like you and I%26#039;d like to get to know you better, lets have lunch, dinner, coffee, etc.%26quot; if she says, %26quot;no, I have a bf%26quot; then you know she%26#039;s serious about her beau. The worst she can say is %26quot;no%26quot;--then it%26#039;s over and you can stop stressing about whether or not she is interested in you.
Good luck.
Reply:well maybe is just being nice, i guess she saw your attitude with her close brother, cousin or boyfriend which she misses a lot...if you want you can talk to her i guess there is nothing wrong about being true to yourself ....it is a way things would be clear to both of you since she had a boyfriend.
nwei, gudlak.
Reply:Dude please stop teasing her that aint good, to be honest same thing happened to me, but the kicker is he did all those things your doing it got him trouble though cause he went to far at work but what im trying to say is i didnt know he liked me,,,, you got to be bold and direct, she may suspect it but you never really siad it either,,,, got for it all you can get is a yes or no,,,, i say do it!!!!!
Reply:idk i just read the last line
Reply:I think she%26#039;s just nice, sorry.
Reply:first of all your the ******* owners son, of course she%26#039;s gotta be nice to you. 2nd she has a boyfriend, 3rd you only known her for a week, and finally she seems to want to be friends but she doesn%26#039;t want anything else. Most girls ***** about their guys, it%26#039;s what they do. Dude, way to fit chubby in their smoothly. I always say %26quot;hey fatty%26quot; then ask her to make the pillsbarry doughboy sound as you poke her.!!!!!! It totally gets em! if that doesn%26#039;t work ask if she%26#039;s a chipmonk or if when she%26#039;s due....chicks ******* love that!
books
She feeling me or just being friendly?
1. I Called her cute couple of times, 1-2 times every couple of days.. to give her hints.
For example she would ask me what shoe looks better on me, and i would say everything looks good
on you, your too cute. Etc. She seems to shy away from these comments, looks away or ignored i said it,
but doesnt seem like a %26quot;get out of my face%26quot; look or anything.
2. I would joke around make fun of stuff shes self-concisous about herself, in a joking manner, but i dont
overdo it..
3. I would flirt by making stupid bets, saying if i sold this item today u gotta buy me a dinner, etc...
She would laff and say what about my bf? I say who cares?? she laffs (it shows i aint
scared, hopefully) Later that nite she sold the product i was suppose to sell (go figure) i asked her to
buy me dinner, she said haha i sold it though, and then i said then ill buy dinner,
she looked at me smiling and said ok haha..and said im a buy something expensive and laffed.
She feeling me or just being friendly?
She%26#039;s just being nice if she mentions her boyfriend.
If and when she%26#039;s ready to go out with just you she will let you know.
Just stay friends with her. She likes you now as friend but who knows what will happen next month.
You could ask her if she has a double so you can ask her out because you don%26#039;t want to make her boyfriend jealous.
Good luck.
Reply:Shes being nice with the possibility of being more later maybe after her dude goes into the military. It%26#039;s not the point of you being scared of her boyfriend the point is she told you she has one this means not right now the timing is not right. So just be there for her, keep doing what ya doin and have some patience.
Reply:definitely just being nice.
Reply:sounds like she%26#039;s just flirting
performing arts
For example she would ask me what shoe looks better on me, and i would say everything looks good
on you, your too cute. Etc. She seems to shy away from these comments, looks away or ignored i said it,
but doesnt seem like a %26quot;get out of my face%26quot; look or anything.
2. I would joke around make fun of stuff shes self-concisous about herself, in a joking manner, but i dont
overdo it..
3. I would flirt by making stupid bets, saying if i sold this item today u gotta buy me a dinner, etc...
She would laff and say what about my bf? I say who cares?? she laffs (it shows i aint
scared, hopefully) Later that nite she sold the product i was suppose to sell (go figure) i asked her to
buy me dinner, she said haha i sold it though, and then i said then ill buy dinner,
she looked at me smiling and said ok haha..and said im a buy something expensive and laffed.
She feeling me or just being friendly?
She%26#039;s just being nice if she mentions her boyfriend.
If and when she%26#039;s ready to go out with just you she will let you know.
Just stay friends with her. She likes you now as friend but who knows what will happen next month.
You could ask her if she has a double so you can ask her out because you don%26#039;t want to make her boyfriend jealous.
Good luck.
Reply:Shes being nice with the possibility of being more later maybe after her dude goes into the military. It%26#039;s not the point of you being scared of her boyfriend the point is she told you she has one this means not right now the timing is not right. So just be there for her, keep doing what ya doin and have some patience.
Reply:definitely just being nice.
Reply:sounds like she%26#039;s just flirting
performing arts
What do you think about a guy wearing these?
My last question was about these 2 pair of shoes. Now I have shown them to my friend and now he says he likes both pairs and would like to get some for himself. He has small feet so he can fit them. He don%26#039;t care that they are womens. He is not gay by far(not to disrespect those who are). Here are the links to the shoes. I will show him the responses to this question. We would appreciate your input. He does have feminine looking feet with no hair. Thanks.
http://www.skechers.com/catalog/browse.d...
http://www.famousfootwear.com/product.as...
What do you think about a guy wearing these?
They won%26#039;t look like he thinks they will on his feet. I think he probably must think they are going to be like those shoes guys wear poolside or whatever, but they will not look like guys shoes even though a guy is wearing them.
The scoop (where the top of his foot will show) is a no doubt about it 100% women only style of cut.
On the other hand, if he likes the shoes and doesn%26#039;t care if everyone knows they%26#039;re girls shoes, then he should go for it.
I wouldn%26#039;t think anything of it if I saw a guy wearing those shoes, because I have worn shoes that nobody else liked except me. I say f_ck %26#039;em, my shoes don%26#039;t own me.
Clearly many of the answerers on here would have a problem with those shoes.
But you don%26#039;t have to care what other people think.
Reply:They are women%26#039;s shoes! He would certainly look a bit gay if he wore them! You wouldn%26#039;t catch my husband wearing them!
Reply:umm... i think they would look kind of goofy on a dude. sorry...but those are definitely chick shoes.
Reply:NO - definitely not suitable
These are for girls
Reply:Dude, don%26#039;t get the shoes. I%26#039;m not a homophob in the least, but if I saw any guy wearing those i%26#039;d look at my GF and say, %26quot;What the Fu*k%26quot;, and we%26#039;d probably agree he was gay. It would be like seeing a man walking around in a skirt.... same reaction.
It%26#039;s your decision and you are your own, %26quot;Man%26quot;... But i%26#039;d give up a nut before I started cross dressing.
Best of luck.
Reply:Are you SURE he%26#039;s not a homer sectual?
Reply:am afraid for a guy those shoes inparticular are way too girly for men it would just look so silly for someone who is not gay or a gal. for the girl though those shoes are way cool and look comfy get them for the lady friend she will love you for it and for the male friend in mind i recommend you get some boyish style shoes there are some funky ones there good luck
Reply:Eat what you like BUT wear what poeple like !!!!!!!!
Reply:nice shoes!
for a girl not for a guy though
Reply:I personally wouldn%26#039;t buy them for a male, but if he likes them and would feel comfortable in them then why not!? xx
Reply:both look like ballet shoes to me....get him some DM%26#039;s or Timberlands...bloody fruitcake...lol
Reply:They look like adapted ballet shoes, so unless he%26#039;s really into ballet and thus his mind is already a little warped, then he is clearly gay.
Reply:i%26#039;m sorry but these are the worst unflattering absolutely minging shoes i%26#039;ve ever seen,he%26#039;ll be a laughing stock
Reply:No! what on earth are you and he are thinking of, buying a pair of womens trainers is very bizarre, especially for a boy/man!
You can get loads of styles for men, why choose womens?
Reply:those would look really bad on a guy!
Reply:I don%26#039;t think they%26#039;re right at all for a guy
Reply:he cant wear those! no, no, no!
Reply:They are going to look stupid on a guy unless he plans on becoming a transvestite by wearing only womens clothes and makeup too.
Reply:ok both of you will have to deal with this issue because seriously hes gay and neither of you know it yet
Reply:How about a nice skirt and top to go with them. They have to be the most non male wearing shoe ever.
I hope he can handle himself, I would imagine that he would get bashed wearing those.
Oh!, and what about self respect?.
But what do I know ( I wear Ice Cream)
Reply:It seems your friend has more of a womans character than that of a man. It seems in his upbringing he has not been taught the difference between a womans taste from that of a man.
The fact of the matter we were created differently to meet the desires of the other. You Have work to do toshow him what he is required to do as a man or the way he is supposed to wear.
Talk to him when the time is right and explain to him the difference.
Best of luck.
Reply:I%26#039;d think he%26#039;s pretty comfortable with himself and like to wear shoes that are light and comfortable.
Reply:those are SUPER girly shoes! doesn%26#039;t make him gay for liking them, just means he has bad male fashion/shoe sense...which actually makes him quite the opposite of gay, haha. anyway, the shoes are really cute for a girl! and they look soooo comfy!!!
Reply:im sure that little queer will look ravashing at the butt bangers ball
Reply:i think there ugly
Reply:nice shoes for girls..
Reply:The second ones are the best...certainly not for the male type though.
Reply:They look like slippers. Thats ok, I wore slippers almost everywhere for a year, but he likely would get a lot of weird looks. I sure did.
Reply:quite gay i might say
visual arts
http://www.skechers.com/catalog/browse.d...
http://www.famousfootwear.com/product.as...
What do you think about a guy wearing these?
They won%26#039;t look like he thinks they will on his feet. I think he probably must think they are going to be like those shoes guys wear poolside or whatever, but they will not look like guys shoes even though a guy is wearing them.
The scoop (where the top of his foot will show) is a no doubt about it 100% women only style of cut.
On the other hand, if he likes the shoes and doesn%26#039;t care if everyone knows they%26#039;re girls shoes, then he should go for it.
I wouldn%26#039;t think anything of it if I saw a guy wearing those shoes, because I have worn shoes that nobody else liked except me. I say f_ck %26#039;em, my shoes don%26#039;t own me.
Clearly many of the answerers on here would have a problem with those shoes.
But you don%26#039;t have to care what other people think.
Reply:They are women%26#039;s shoes! He would certainly look a bit gay if he wore them! You wouldn%26#039;t catch my husband wearing them!
Reply:umm... i think they would look kind of goofy on a dude. sorry...but those are definitely chick shoes.
Reply:NO - definitely not suitable
These are for girls
Reply:Dude, don%26#039;t get the shoes. I%26#039;m not a homophob in the least, but if I saw any guy wearing those i%26#039;d look at my GF and say, %26quot;What the Fu*k%26quot;, and we%26#039;d probably agree he was gay. It would be like seeing a man walking around in a skirt.... same reaction.
It%26#039;s your decision and you are your own, %26quot;Man%26quot;... But i%26#039;d give up a nut before I started cross dressing.
Best of luck.
Reply:Are you SURE he%26#039;s not a homer sectual?
Reply:am afraid for a guy those shoes inparticular are way too girly for men it would just look so silly for someone who is not gay or a gal. for the girl though those shoes are way cool and look comfy get them for the lady friend she will love you for it and for the male friend in mind i recommend you get some boyish style shoes there are some funky ones there good luck
Reply:Eat what you like BUT wear what poeple like !!!!!!!!
Reply:nice shoes!
for a girl not for a guy though
Reply:I personally wouldn%26#039;t buy them for a male, but if he likes them and would feel comfortable in them then why not!? xx
Reply:both look like ballet shoes to me....get him some DM%26#039;s or Timberlands...bloody fruitcake...lol
Reply:They look like adapted ballet shoes, so unless he%26#039;s really into ballet and thus his mind is already a little warped, then he is clearly gay.
Reply:i%26#039;m sorry but these are the worst unflattering absolutely minging shoes i%26#039;ve ever seen,he%26#039;ll be a laughing stock
Reply:No! what on earth are you and he are thinking of, buying a pair of womens trainers is very bizarre, especially for a boy/man!
You can get loads of styles for men, why choose womens?
Reply:those would look really bad on a guy!
Reply:I don%26#039;t think they%26#039;re right at all for a guy
Reply:he cant wear those! no, no, no!
Reply:They are going to look stupid on a guy unless he plans on becoming a transvestite by wearing only womens clothes and makeup too.
Reply:ok both of you will have to deal with this issue because seriously hes gay and neither of you know it yet
Reply:How about a nice skirt and top to go with them. They have to be the most non male wearing shoe ever.
I hope he can handle himself, I would imagine that he would get bashed wearing those.
Oh!, and what about self respect?.
But what do I know ( I wear Ice Cream)
Reply:It seems your friend has more of a womans character than that of a man. It seems in his upbringing he has not been taught the difference between a womans taste from that of a man.
The fact of the matter we were created differently to meet the desires of the other. You Have work to do toshow him what he is required to do as a man or the way he is supposed to wear.
Talk to him when the time is right and explain to him the difference.
Best of luck.
Reply:I%26#039;d think he%26#039;s pretty comfortable with himself and like to wear shoes that are light and comfortable.
Reply:those are SUPER girly shoes! doesn%26#039;t make him gay for liking them, just means he has bad male fashion/shoe sense...which actually makes him quite the opposite of gay, haha. anyway, the shoes are really cute for a girl! and they look soooo comfy!!!
Reply:im sure that little queer will look ravashing at the butt bangers ball
Reply:i think there ugly
Reply:nice shoes for girls..
Reply:The second ones are the best...certainly not for the male type though.
Reply:They look like slippers. Thats ok, I wore slippers almost everywhere for a year, but he likely would get a lot of weird looks. I sure did.
Reply:quite gay i might say
visual arts
Wal*Mart jokes are still funny?
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
4. Don%26#039;t bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply %26#039;moving them around%26#039;)
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 6).
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.
11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
and turn the volume up to full blast.
12. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, %26quot;Hi. I haven%26#039;t seen
you in so long.%26quot; etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them %26#039;Bob%26#039;, and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, %26quot;Who buys this crap anyway?!%26quot;
15. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don%26#039;t actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys).
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
18. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.
19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say %26quot;BEEP%26quot; in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.
20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and
when they say you didn%26#039;t buy it there say %26quot;The customer is always right dammit!!%26quot; Make a scene.
21. Move %26quot;Caution : Wet Floor%26quot; signs to The parking lot
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.
24. Ask a really fat customer %26quot;Son im gonna need that ham back%26quot;
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
%26quot;I%26#039;m Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave.%26quot;
26. Climb things.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell %26quot;hello%26quot;
upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to %26quot;boobs%26quot;.
30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling %26quot;Red Rover.%26quot;
31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a %26#039;Shnerple%26#039; looks like to assist them.
32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle from above.
34. Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Put your T-Shirt on top of your head and say %26quot;I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO! I AM A GRINGO!%26quot;
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.
40. Say things like, %26quot;Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies.%26quot;
41. Set up a %26quot;Valet Parking%26quot; sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.
44. %26quot;Re-alphabetize%26quot; the CD%26#039;s using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.
45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as %26#039;A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline%26#039;.
47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.
49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don%26#039;t get out
much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. Start playing Football, see how many people you can get to join in.
52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
53. Play a game of indoor freeze tag.
54. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window %26quot;the British are coming! the British are coming!!%26quot;
55. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes.
56. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saing %26quot;I%26#039;m gonna save us from that bomb!%26quot;
57. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.
58. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section
59. If people arent looking at their cart, steal it.
60. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught.
Wal*Mart jokes are still funny?
halarious.. i have done a few of these...
Reply:2 free pts wooow!
Reply:i got that in an email 10 years ago, lol, i guess..
Reply:wut the f*ck?
Reply:I was in the eye doctor%26#039;s office in our local wal-mart the other day, and there was this dude in there getting his glasses fitted....we live in Kentucky and he had this thick (sounded like New Jersey) accent....he was talking to the technician and she ask him if he was allergic to anything, he said:
%26quot;yeah, i%26#039;m allergic to beer%26quot;
%26quot;BEER! no?%26quot; she replys
%26quot;yeah....it makes me break out in black-eyes and handcuffs!%26quot;
Reply:no
Reply:ALIENSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Reply:You seem to have an obsession with Wal Mart.
Reply:Jeez, I forgot....what was the question?
makeup tips
and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
4. Don%26#039;t bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply %26#039;moving them around%26#039;)
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 6).
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.
11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
and turn the volume up to full blast.
12. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, %26quot;Hi. I haven%26#039;t seen
you in so long.%26quot; etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them %26#039;Bob%26#039;, and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, %26quot;Who buys this crap anyway?!%26quot;
15. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don%26#039;t actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys).
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
18. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.
19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say %26quot;BEEP%26quot; in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.
20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and
when they say you didn%26#039;t buy it there say %26quot;The customer is always right dammit!!%26quot; Make a scene.
21. Move %26quot;Caution : Wet Floor%26quot; signs to The parking lot
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.
24. Ask a really fat customer %26quot;Son im gonna need that ham back%26quot;
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
%26quot;I%26#039;m Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave.%26quot;
26. Climb things.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell %26quot;hello%26quot;
upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to %26quot;boobs%26quot;.
30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling %26quot;Red Rover.%26quot;
31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a %26#039;Shnerple%26#039; looks like to assist them.
32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle from above.
34. Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Put your T-Shirt on top of your head and say %26quot;I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO! I AM A GRINGO!%26quot;
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.
40. Say things like, %26quot;Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies.%26quot;
41. Set up a %26quot;Valet Parking%26quot; sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.
44. %26quot;Re-alphabetize%26quot; the CD%26#039;s using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.
45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as %26#039;A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline%26#039;.
47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.
49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don%26#039;t get out
much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. Start playing Football, see how many people you can get to join in.
52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
53. Play a game of indoor freeze tag.
54. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window %26quot;the British are coming! the British are coming!!%26quot;
55. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes.
56. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saing %26quot;I%26#039;m gonna save us from that bomb!%26quot;
57. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.
58. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section
59. If people arent looking at their cart, steal it.
60. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught.
Wal*Mart jokes are still funny?
halarious.. i have done a few of these...
Reply:2 free pts wooow!
Reply:i got that in an email 10 years ago, lol, i guess..
Reply:wut the f*ck?
Reply:I was in the eye doctor%26#039;s office in our local wal-mart the other day, and there was this dude in there getting his glasses fitted....we live in Kentucky and he had this thick (sounded like New Jersey) accent....he was talking to the technician and she ask him if he was allergic to anything, he said:
%26quot;yeah, i%26#039;m allergic to beer%26quot;
%26quot;BEER! no?%26quot; she replys
%26quot;yeah....it makes me break out in black-eyes and handcuffs!%26quot;
Reply:no
Reply:ALIENSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Reply:You seem to have an obsession with Wal Mart.
Reply:Jeez, I forgot....what was the question?
makeup tips
What would you think about these on a guy?
My last question was about these 2 pair of shoes. Now I have shown them to my friend and now he says he likes both pairs and would like to get some for himself. He has small feet so he can fit them. He don%26#039;t care that they are womens. He is not gay by far(not to disrespect those who are). Here are the links to the shoes. I will show him the responses to this question. We would appreciate your input. Thanks.
http://www.skechers.com/catalog/browse.d...
http://www.famousfootwear.com/product.as...
What would you think about these on a guy?
To the question what would you think about these on a guy?
i think he would look funny, but if he likes both i would recommend the second ones, the Adidas Johari, i have a pair and are super cool and easy to combine.
Hope it helps
=)
Reply:I wouldn%26#039;t like them on any guy. They look to feminine. Just not flattering to a guy. Gay or not. Men shoes have come along way...I%26#039;d suggest maybe something from Aldo%26#039;s...they have a nice selection for men.
Reply:cute shoes!!!!! don%26#039;t think they%26#039;d look right on a guy though.
Reply:The second link, Adidas. I think it would look better then the one from Skechers. But my gay friend wore some flats and it didn%26#039;t look too good on him. So, not sure about your friend.
fashion accessories
http://www.skechers.com/catalog/browse.d...
http://www.famousfootwear.com/product.as...
What would you think about these on a guy?
To the question what would you think about these on a guy?
i think he would look funny, but if he likes both i would recommend the second ones, the Adidas Johari, i have a pair and are super cool and easy to combine.
Hope it helps
=)
Reply:I wouldn%26#039;t like them on any guy. They look to feminine. Just not flattering to a guy. Gay or not. Men shoes have come along way...I%26#039;d suggest maybe something from Aldo%26#039;s...they have a nice selection for men.
Reply:cute shoes!!!!! don%26#039;t think they%26#039;d look right on a guy though.
Reply:The second link, Adidas. I think it would look better then the one from Skechers. But my gay friend wore some flats and it didn%26#039;t look too good on him. So, not sure about your friend.
fashion accessories
Random Fun Question #2?
find some shoes from finishline.com that will look good with these jeans (NIKE) i dont care what the price is.
JEANS http://www.abercrombiekids.com/webapp/wc...
Random Fun Question #2?
http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
Reply:http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
they r keds but i think they could work out with those jeans
Reply:http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
x
Reply:http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
like thosee
small business web
JEANS http://www.abercrombiekids.com/webapp/wc...
Random Fun Question #2?
http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
Reply:http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
they r keds but i think they could work out with those jeans
Reply:http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
x
Reply:http://www.finishline.com/store/catalog/...
like thosee
small business web
Puma Shoes?
I just got a new pair of puma shoes:
(where the black is I have green)
http://www.buckle.com/media/images/produ...
and was wondering? They don%26#039;t look gay do they? Like I don%26#039;t care what people say but it gets annoying. Thanks for the answers.
Puma Shoes?
they dont look gay unless you wear fitted/ripped jeans a polo with a popped collar with them.
hope i helped!
-lena
Reply:it depends on what you wear them with just return them if you don%26#039;t like them
Reply:noo they dont look gay unless you dont kno how to rock them
Reply:i love pumas and the green sounds awsome be different and pumas are not gayyyyyyyy
Reply:pumas are one of the greatest thing that was ever invaded in shoes.
They have some comfortable shoes. In a matter effect I%26#039;m wearing one now. And my legs feels like in haven dude.
Reply:nahh there cute
Reply:They look good don%26#039;t worry about it
mobile
(where the black is I have green)
http://www.buckle.com/media/images/produ...
and was wondering? They don%26#039;t look gay do they? Like I don%26#039;t care what people say but it gets annoying. Thanks for the answers.
Puma Shoes?
they dont look gay unless you wear fitted/ripped jeans a polo with a popped collar with them.
hope i helped!
-lena
Reply:it depends on what you wear them with just return them if you don%26#039;t like them
Reply:noo they dont look gay unless you dont kno how to rock them
Reply:i love pumas and the green sounds awsome be different and pumas are not gayyyyyyyy
Reply:pumas are one of the greatest thing that was ever invaded in shoes.
They have some comfortable shoes. In a matter effect I%26#039;m wearing one now. And my legs feels like in haven dude.
Reply:nahh there cute
Reply:They look good don%26#039;t worry about it
mobile
Should we give money to poor ppl?
ZAKAAT (Alms)
Ramadan is the month of giving and benevolence, the Messenger was more benevolent than a falling rain. Muslims are encouraged to emulate the Messenger of Allah (saas), to assess and pay their Zakaat during the month of Ramadan, thus combining the two pillars of Islam at the same time.
Zakaat (alms) is the name of what a believer returns out of his or her wealth to the neediest of Muslims for the sake of the Almighty Allah. It is called Zakaat because the word Zakaat is from Zakaa which means, to increase, purify and bless.
Who Should Give Zakaat
The obligation of Zakaat is mandatory on every Muslim who possesses the minimum Nisaab, whether the person is man, woman, young, old sane or insane. Because the proof of Zakaat in Al-Qur`an and Sunnah is general and does not exclude young or insane. Allah (SWT) stated that: %26quot;Of their goods take alms so that thou mightiest purify and sanctify them...%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 9: 103)
Imam Ibn Hazim said that every Muslim young or old sane or insane needs to cleanse his or her wealth with Zakaat because of generality of the evidence. Anas bin Malik reported that the Messenger of Allah (saas) said: %26quot;Trade with the money of the orphan, lest it is eaten up by Zakaat.%26quot; (At-Tabraani) In another Hadith `Amru bin Shuaib related from his grandfather that the Messenger of Allah said:
%26quot;Whoever is entrusted with money of an orphan should trade with it and should not leave it sitting to be used up by charity.%26quot; (Tirmidhi)
The point of reference in these reports is that the Messenger (saas) urged the trustee on the estate of people who due to age or other reasons cannot manage their own financial affairs, to invest it in a business that will yield a return and make it grow until they are in a position to do so themselves. For, if proper investment is not made with an ophan%26#039;s inheritance, it will be depleted by charity, thus leaving the orphan with little or nothing.
The Nisaab
The Lawgiver, Allah has prescribed the minimum amount that is obligatory for Zakaat in different ranges of properties, and that minimum amount is known as nisaab. The reason for nisaab is to ensure that no one is forced to give Zakaat out of what he or she does not have, and that no wealth goes without Zakaat. Nisaab is also an insurance against the tyranny of the state to tax the poor and or the neediest as is the case in many countries. Nisaab is a reference point for the average Muslim who is not sure whether he possesses the minimum wealth on which Zakaat is obligatory. The wealthy need not worry about the Nisaab. Zakaat is obligatory on their entire wealth and must be paid out at the end of financial year that they set for their Zakaat.
The Nisaab will not be valid unless it fulfills two conditions:
1) The amount that has reached Nisaab must be the excess or surplus known as %26quot;faadil%26quot; from one%26#039;s essential needs such as food, clothing, housing, vehicles, tools and machinery that is used in business. The essentials for living are exempted from Zakaat.
Although what constitutes nisaab may change from one country to another, the amount that is needed for the basic needs of living in different countries is very similar, because the market place determines the prices, whether it is an official market or a non-official market. In the poorest countries people do without or live below the poverty standard, and that is why many go hungry or without basic essentials.
However, we must realize that Zakaat is an act of worship (ebadah) like Salaat. The element of intention (niyyah) is necessary, and we should not overly rely on state agencies to determine for us the requirements of our religious duty. The so called the %26quot;consumption basket%26quot; (that is poverty level as determined the social security administration which are updated every fiscal year) may not be the same as what Islam considers minimum Nisaab.
In the industrialized countries, the consumption basket may include items that are not necessarily essential, such as entertainment, extra clothing, variety of food, eating in restaurant or eating at home, owning more than one car as opposed to having three cars in the driveway, drinking water as opposed to juices, eating regular food or special %26quot;health%26quot; food. This is why I believe it is essential that we do not lose site of the fact that Zakaat is ebadah of wealth, like salaat and fasting. Non Muslims may consider all the things mentioned above as essentials while Muslims will not. Indeed, no Muslims in good standing will attempt to hide behind the label of consumption basket so as to evade Zakaat.
Nisaab eliminates the possibility of injustice or unfair treatment of the Zakaat payer. To suggest that if we do not follow the rules of International Monetary Fund or the arbitrary figures of social security administration or department of agriculture we will be doing injustice to the Zakaat payer is ludicrous.
2) Nisaab must mature, that is the money is not liable for Zakaat unless it has remained a full year in the possession of a person. This is the understanding of the majority of the scholars. Imam Abu Hanifah (raa) said: %26quot;What should be considered is the existence of nisaab at the beginning and the end of the Zakaat year set by the payer%26quot;. It does not matter if the nisaab money increases or decreases during the calendar year, as we will explain later.
This condition does not include farm produce, for it is due on the day it is harvested. Allah (SWT) stated: %26quot;... But render the dues that are proper on the day that the harvest is gathered...%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 6: 141) According to Imam Al-`Abadi, (raa) Zakaat money is of two kinds: one that by its nature can not be invested and Zakaat of this category is due on the day of harvest. This includes all the farm produce that is liable for Zakaat. The other is wealth that can be invested in the hope of a good return, like cash, gold or silver, because the opportunity is there that cash in one%26#039;s hand can be invested for a good return. This includes currency investment, merchandise and livestock. Their Zakaat is not due until they have matured in one full year.
The proof of this condition is the Hadith related by Ibn `Umar that the Messenger of Allah (saas) said: %26quot;He who acquires property is not liable for Zakaat on it till a year passes.%26quot; According to Ibn Rushd (raa) this is the understanding of the majority of scholars, including the four rightly guided Khalifahs.
Zakaat Of Salaries
The condition of yearly term maturity applies to the commodities on which the Lawgiver said Zakaat is due, and this includes silver, gold, modern paper currency and livestock. Paper currency is analogous to silver, therefore, it takes the case of silver. There is no Zakaat on salary, earned income from wage earners or professionals or independent contractors until such money matures in a full year. There is no such thing as paying your Zakaat on the day you receive your paycheck. What the wage earner must know is that he or she can purify that money with charity (sadaqah) anytime they cash the paycheck. Allah (SWT) states: %26quot;And in their wealth and possessions (was remembered) the right of the needy, he who asks and he who (for some reason) was prevented (from asking).%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 51: 19).
We can deduce from the concept of %26quot;yearly maturity%26quot; of wealth on which Zakaat is due as encouraging, among other things, saving on the part of the Zakaat payer, and enhances the chances for eradicating poverty, because if the poor receives his rightful share of Zakaat there will be the possibility that he can take Zakaat money and invest it and become a Zakaat payer instead of recipient. This possibility will be lost if he receives few Zakaat dollars every month. To say that the wage earner just brings his check home and spends everything on necessities and lives from check to check with nothing left over means the person is eligible for Zakaat.
Using farm produce as analogous to salary for Zakaat is wrong analogy. As Imam Al-`Abadi said, these are two different categories of money. $2, 500.00 cash can be invested by the person and expect a good return whereas it will be difficult to invest a bushel of corn. It can be traded as a commodity, which is what it is. This why we must know that analogy has rules that must be followed before it is applied. Certainly the jurists are unanimous that earned income, known as almal al-mustafadah, should either be added to existing money and wait until that amount reaches maturity and then give their Zakaat; or if there is no money on hand the time one possesses this money, he or she should wait one full year before assessing it for Zakaat.
Zakaat is one of the five pillars of Islam and a vital element in the religion of Islam. It is the twin sister of Salaat. In Al-Qur`an, Allah (SWT) stated: %26quot;So establish regular Prayer and give regular Alms; and obey the Messenger; that you may receive mercy.%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 24: 56) Also, %26quot;...Establish regular Prayer and give regular Alms, and loan to Allah a beautiful loan....%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 73: 20) %26quot;And they have been commanded no more than this: to worship Allah, offering Him sincere devotion, being true (in faith); to establish regular Prayer and to practice regular charity; and that is the religion right and straight.%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 98: 5)
In a famous Hadith reported by `Umar Bin Khattab (raa), the Messenger of Allah (saas) responded to Jibreel (as) and said: %26quot;... Islam is to testify that there is no deity but Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, to perform the prayer, to pay Zakaat, to observe fasting in Ramadan, and to make pilgrimage to the house of Allah if you are able to do os....%26quot; (Bukhari, Muslim)
There is consensus among Muslim scholars that it is mandatory on every believer who is financially able. Whoever knowingly denies this obligation, while he possesses the minimum amount, would be considered a disbeliever and a renegade from Islam. Whoever is stingy, or tries to cheat, is considered among the wrongdoers. Zakaat is mandatory on four categories of items.
1. Farm produce of seeds and fruits, such as wheat, barley, rice, dates, raisins, cocoa, pistachios, coffee, cashews. Allah (SWT) stated: %26quot;O you who believe, give of the good things which you have (honorably) earned, and of the fruits of the earth which We have produced for you...%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 2: 267) Also: %26quot;... But render the dues that are proper on the day that the harvest is gathered...%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 6: 141) Thus, these two verses and many others indicate that Zakaat is due on farm products that reached the minimum amount (nisaab). No farm product is liable for Zakaat unless it is a product that is considered as food and can be stocked or saved naturally without refrigeration. If the produce is perishable fruit, such as grapes, there is no Zakaat. But if one sells them they will pay their Zakaat on the profit earned when it matures.
The nisaab is 612 kilos, which equals 1,346.40 lb. There is no Zakaat on produce that is less than this amount. If the farm produce or crops grow dependant on rainwater, or without any man%26#039;s labor or irrigation, Zakaat due is one-tenth of the total. If it is grown by irrigation, then the Zakaat due is half of one-tenth of the total produce. There is no Zakaat on fruits like apples or oranges or vegetables which are perishable and need refrigeration for long storage, but they should be considered as any income if the profit earned from their sale reaches the amount of Zakaat, then Zakaat should be given.
2. Cattle, including camels, cows, sheep and goats, that are freely graze and are raised for trade and production. For Zakaat to be obligatory, the number must reach the nisaab. The nisaab of camels is five, of cows 30, of sheep and goats, 40. By freely grazing is meant the animal goes out to feed without the owner buying or bringing it feed or hay. If it is not a grazing animal, there is no Zakaat in the stock by itself. The stock will, however, be considered as articles of trade, then will be assessed for Zakaat as articles of trade when the profit earned from their sale reaches the amount by itself or in combination with other articles of the trade.
3. Merchandise and goods of trade and commerce. This includes anything that is obtained for the business of buying and selling: land, animals, food provisions, fabric, cars, spare parts, etc. This inventory is evaluated annually and assessed for Zakaat, whether the value is the same as the amount spent on it, more, or less. The owners of grocery stores, like any other business, must evaluate every item and give their Zakaat. Simple bookkeeping of inventory, orders, cash on hand, and credits, that is non-delinquent loans, will give one a good picture of the zakaatable assets. But if one is unable to account for everything in the store or shop, he should assess it according to his ability until he is sure that his conscience is clear.
There is no Zakaat on what is within one%26#039;s dwelling or property which includes food, drinks, furniture, houses, animals, cars, clothes and shoes. The only exception is gold and silver. There is no Zakaat on assets from rentals or lease, whether they are apartment units, taxi cabs, etc. That is, there is no Zakaat on the apartment units, buses or cars for rental like yellow cabs company or trucks for rental or equipments. But there is Zakaat on the proceeds or incomes from these rental assets if these assets reach the executable amount, either by themselves or in combination with other assets.
Business Activities
Many scholars are of the opinion that any business activity that brings any return to the entrepreneur or investor should be assessed for Zakaat. If the activity has a prescribed nisaab, such as gold, silver or paper currency, that nisaab is applied for Zakaat. But if the business has no declared nisaab, its nisaab is the nisaab of commerce, one reason being that most business activities are considered as commerce and because, in actual fact, it is not factitious business name, such as GM, Apple or GE that is taxed for Zakaat, it is the individual investor. We do not tax cooperations such IBM, Apple, GM or Rajihy Bank but the individual investors, share holders and owners of these corporations.
Indeed, there are enough rules in Zakaat books to cover all types of business activity, be it cash or risk investment. If the business activity is analogous to commerce, it should be assessed the same rate as commerce. To subject the business to a different Zakaat rate of 10%, which is the rate of farm products instead of its correct rate of 2.5%, the rate of commerce, is unfair and unjustified. Besides, there is no proof, even a weak one, to justify this unfair arbitrary taxation. The difference between 2.5% and 10% is high. The Zakaat system is not like a state revenue collection, but Allah%26#039;s `ebadah. However, if a business person decides to give more than 2.5% after deducting all the expenses including depreciation, Allah (SWT) will accept it from him.
4. Gold and silver, whether used for commerce or jewelry. Allah (SWT) states: %26quot;...And there are those who bury gold and silver and spend it not in the way of Allah: announce unto them a most grievous penalty. On the day when heat will be produced out of that (wealth) in the fire of hell, and with it will be branded their foreheads, their flanks and their backs. This is the (treasure) which you buried for yourselves: taste you, then, the (treasures) you buried.%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 9: 34-35). By hoarding is meant refusal to give it in the path of Allah, which includes Zakaat.
In a hadith reported by Abu Hurairah (raa), the Messenger of Allah (saas) said: %26quot;For the owner or possessor of gold and silver who does not fulfill its obligation, on the Day of Resurrection it will be cast into sheets of fire and be branded on his forehead, side and back. Whenever it cools it is to be repeated for him in a day whose length is the length of fifty thousand years, until the judgement is rendered among the people.%26quot; (Muslim). By its obligation is meant assessing it for Zakaat. In another version: %26quot;No possessor of a treasure who does not give its Zakaat.%26quot;
Zakaat is mandatory in gold and silver, irrespective of its form: in coins, raw or nugget, or jewelry for wearing, or for rent, because of the generality of evidence of Zakaat without any detail. In a report by Abdullah bin `Amr bin `Aas (raa), he related that a woman came to the Messenger of Allah with her daughter. On the daughter%26#039;s wrist were two heavy gold bracelets. The Messenger asked her, %26quot;Do you pay Zakaat on this?%26quot; She replied, %26quot;No.%26quot; The Messenger said: %26quot;Would it please you that Allah will encircle you with two bracelets of fire?%26quot; The reporter commented that she took them off and threw them down in front of the Messenger, and said: %26quot;They are for Allah and his Messenger.%26quot; (Ahmed, Tirmidhi).
The Messenger%26#039;s wife reported that: %26quot;The Messenger entered into my house and saw in my hand a huge ring made of silver, so he asked, `What is this?%26#039; I replied, `I made them to beautify myself for you, O Messenger of Allah.%26#039; He inquired, `Do you give their Zakaat?%26#039; I said, `No,%26#039; or `Allah willing.%26#039; He said: `It will suffice you in the hellfire.%26#039;%26quot; (Abu Dawuud).
Zakaat is due on gold when it reaches the amount of (nisaab), which is 20 Dinaar. According to a hadith, the Messenger said: %26quot;No Zakaat on you is due until it reaches 20 dinaar.%26quot; (Abu Dawud) The Islamic dinaar (currency) is one mithqal, a unit of weight which weighs four and one quarter of a gram. Thus, the nisaab is 85 grams. This is equal to $30.00 US dollars.
Similarly, there is no Zakaat on silver until it reaches five oqiyah, because the Messenger said: %26quot;There is no Zakaat on less then five oqiyah.%26quot; (Muslim/Bukhari) Oqiyah is equal to forty Islamic dirhams. The nisaab is 200 dirhams. One dirham is equivalent to 595 grams. The zakaatable amount in both the gold and silver is a quarter of a tenth only.
Paper Currency
There is Zakaat on modern paper currency because it is equivalent to silver. During the early days of Islam, silver and gold were the currency of exchange minted into dirham for silver and dinaar for gold. Silver, not gold, had a larger circulation. Thus many scholars are of opinion that silver should be the standard for the paper currencies of today because that is more advantageous to the Zakaat payer, as it raises the minimum nisaab whereas gold lowers it. Although both metals are no longer circulated, they are still considered as a security against ever fluctuating paper money.
Silver should be used as a standard to assess Zakaat annually, not paper currency, even if the currency is hard currency like the US dollar, Yen and Deutch Mark or Pound Sterling. Because these currencies are backed by political decisions that may not have anything to do with the economy, the value and strength of this paper money depends largely on all haram usury system of interest rates.
Thus, the Zakaat payer should look up in the local newspaper%26#039;s financial or business section for the price of silver which is currently about $3.82. per ounce. The nisaab, then, is 596 x .04=28.80 ounce multiplied by$3.82= 90.91. therefore. The nisaab is about $100.00, as of December 17, 1991.
The nisaab should be based on the market value of the currency. If the money is hard currency, there will be no problem, but if the money is a non-marketable currency, like most currencies in the third world countries, the nisaab should be based on the black market, which realistically reflects the value of the currency on the money market. In any case, the silver rate should be used to assess the Zakaat.
If the nisaab is determined, the zakaatable amount is 2.5%, or .025 multiplied by the amount. For instance, if the zakaatable amount is $56,000.00 it will be 56,000. x .025 = $1,400.00.
Zakaat is due on gold, silver, and or paper currency, whether it is cash in hand or credit in the hands of borrowers. Zakaat is due on debts or cost of merchandize or rental money. If the borrower is a wealthy person that you know will pay back the debt, the lender (that is Halaal lending free of usury) should include that money in the assessment and give its Zakaat. However, one can delay Zakaat on a loan until he receives payment, then return its Zakaat for the past years that he was unable to assess for Zakaat. If the borrower is poor or is refusing to pay the debt, there will be no Zakaat on the money until the lender receives the money. Then he will assess it for Zakaat of one past due year, but there will be no Zakaat in the years before that.
There is no Zakaat on precious stones such as diamonds, or metals such uranium, regardless of their value. Gold and silver, of course are assessed for Zakaat. However, if a person possesses any of these stones or metals, he should give their Zakaat like any other articles of trade. If a person possesses diamonds or any other precious stones as an edge against inflation or for ornaments, there will no Zakaat on these.
How To Give Zakaat
Zakaat may be assessed and returned in two ways:
a) Make a record of all money earned, either daily or monthly, which has reached the nisaab and remains in the treasury. The Zakaat of that money would be due one year later on the same day the money was earned and reached nisaab. This means every month%26#039;s income must be set aside and assessed for Zakaat and so will be the case for the rest of the months. For instance, the income of January, 1991 will be assessed for Zakaat in January, 1992, and the income of February, 1991 will be assessed for Zakaat in February 1992, etc. This method of assessing Zakaat is very difficult because it entails complete bookkeeping of daily or monthly earnings.
b) The best way is to set a day or a month, preferably Ramadan, for your annual Zakaat return calendar, say Ramadan 1st, 1412. One year later on the same day Ramadan, 1413, your Zakaat is due and payable. Whatever is in the savings is due for Zakaat, regardless of whether all the amount in the savings reaches a year or not. For instance: if you have $20,000.00 in the savings account on the 1st of Ramadan, 1412 and one year later by the 1st of Ramadan, 1413 there is $50, 000.00, your Zakaat will be assessed for $50,000.00, that is: $50.000.00 x .025= $1,250.00. If, on the other hand, by the 1st of Ramadan, 1413 the amount in the savings is $15,000.00, your Zakaat will be for the amount in the savings, that is $15,000.00 x .025= $375.00. This method is the best because it is easy to assess, meets one%26#039;s obligation and relieve one%26#039;s conscience.
The Recipient Of Zakaat
Knowing who qualifies as recipient of Zakaat is an important aspect of Zakaat collection in Islam. Fortunately, Allah (SWT) has been merciful to us in that He Himself spelled out the people eligible to receive Zakaat. In Surah Tawbah He stated:
%26quot;Alms are for the poor and the needy; and those employed to administer (the funds); for those whose hearts have been (recently) reconciled (to truth); for those in bondage and in debt; in the cause of Allah; and for the wayfarer: (thus is it) ordained by Allah, and Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom.%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 9: 60) In this verse Allah enumerated the people who deserve this divine welfare, and they are as follows:
The poor and the needy. These are individuals, and those under their care, to live on. By the poor and needy is meant the people whose income or salaries, or whatever material goods they have, fall short of the cost of living in a given environment and economy. The poor and the needy should be given what will suffice them and their families for one full year. The needy who want to get married and have no means should be given enough for this purpose, and so, too, the student who needs money for tuition, rent, food, and books. The working poor should be given supplementary Zakaat. But the wealthy, or any person with enough income to live on should not be given Zakaat, even if they asked for it. Instead, they should be warned and admonished for asking for what does not belong to them.
In a hadith reported by Abdullah bin `Umar, the Messenger of Allah (saas) stated: %26quot;A man keeps on asking others for something till he comes on the day of Resurrection without any piece of flesh on his face.%26quot; (Bukhari/Muslim). This hadith indicates a humiliating appearance before Allah (SWT) that awaits a person who asks illegally.
Some said: this hadith implies Allah will punish a person with the very limb, the face, that he used to impress on others to give him their money unlawfully.
In another hadith reported by Abu Hurairah, the Messenger of Allah said: %26quot;Whoever asks people for their money so as to get rich, he is asking for flames of fire. It is up to him to ask for more or less (he should beware).%26quot; (Muslim) This hadith indicates the severity of the punishment, the more one asks the more punishment, the less one asks the less the punishment.
In another hadith, reported by Hakeem bin Hizaam said: I begged the Messenger of Allah and he gave me. I begged again, and he gave me. I begged again and he gave me. He then said: %26quot;This money is green and sweet; he who receives it from people with a cheerful heart, Allah will bless him in it; he who receives it, with an avaricious mind would not be blessed in it. He will be like the person who eats without being satisfied; and the upper hand is better than the lower hand%26quot; (Muslim)
This hadith gave an analogy between money and green, ripened fruit that people love to eat. Thus, it indicates that both are greatly loved but easily finished. For money that is easy come easy go, one must be careful about the punishment that awaits the illegal eater. If a person asks for Zakaat and there are no signs of wealth, and he does not know that he should not ask, or a person who is well and able, who can work, but does not; if these people do not know that it is not permissible for them to ask, it may be given anyway.
In a hadith reported by Ahmed, Abu Dawud, and Nasa%26#039;e, two men came to the Messenger of Allah (saas) and asked for Zakaat. He looked at them closely and found them strong and able, he said, %26quot;If you want I will give you. But you should know that the wealthy or an able person who can work has no share in Zakaat%26quot; (Ahmad)
Those who administer the Zakaat department, assigning people for collecting, bookkeeping, making lists of people eligible for Zakaat, and a financial calendar. These people will receive Zakaat as compensation for their work, even if they are wealthy. This does not include a person who works as an agent for one or two wealthy people to take Zakaat for himself. They should donate their time for Zakaat disbursement and do it with honesty and truthfulness. If they can not, they should be paid or rewarded for their time. In a hadith related by Abu Musa Al-Ashi`ari (raa), the Messenger of Allah said: %26quot;A trustworthy Muslim executor is the one who executes completely what has been entrusted to him of Zakaat money in good faith.%26quot; (Bukhari)
That is, he will give the Zakaat money to any of the eligible recipients of Zakaat. He should carry on the duty voluntarily, but if he can not distribute the money without being paid, the Zakaat payer should pay him for his work. The payment for the service of distributing Zakaat should not come out of Zakaat money.
The new converts to Islam whose hearts we want to harmonize into the fold of Islam, either because their faith is weak or we are afraid of their being harmed, should be given Zakaat to strengthen their Iman or until we no longer fear their harm.
The bonds person who has contracted with his master to buy himself out of bondage deserve Zakaat and should be given enough to pay off their debt to the master and be freed themselves; similarly, Muslim prisoners of war if their freedom is tied to monetary payment, deserve Zakaat sufficient enough to secure their release.
On the other hand, if a pearson accidently killed someone and have no means to pay off the blood money, he should be helped from Zakaat funds.
The people in debt are of two kinds:
(A) The guarantor, who takes the responsibility of someone else%26#039;s debt so as to reconcile the two warring parties, to extinguish the fire of fitnah between them. If the person requests Zakaat money to pay off this debt he should be given it, which will encourage him to continue in this noble cause.
In a hadith reported by Qubaysah Al-Hilaaly (raa), he said I was under debt (hamaalah) and I came to the Messenger (saas) and begged him to help me pay it off. The Messenger told him: %26quot;Wait until we receive charity, so we will command that it be given to you.%26quot; However, the Messenger stated: %26quot;O Qubaysah, begging is not permitted except for one of three categories of people:
A man who has incurred debt (as guarantor to reconcile blood wit) for him begging is permissible till he pays that off, after which he must stop it; a man whose property has been destroyed by calamity which has smitten him; for him begging is permissible till he gets what will support life or will provide him reasonable subsistence; and a man who has been smitten by poverty, the genuineness of which should be confirmed by three knowledgeable members of his people; for him begging is permissible till he gets what will support him, or will provide him subsistence. Besides these three, Qubaysah, begging is forbidden for every other persons, and one who engages in such consumes that which is forbidden.%26quot; (Muslim)
(B) Whoever incurs debt and has no money to pay it back will be given from Zakaat to help pay his debt, whether the amount is large or small; or his creditor should be paid directly on his behalf, so long as it is paid off.
Zakaat can be given in the path of Allah. By this is meant to finance a Jihad effort in the path of Allah, not for Jihad for other reasons. The fighter (mujahid) will be given as salary what will be enough for him. If he needs to buy arms or some other supplies related to the war effort, Zakaat money should be used provided the effort is to raise the banner of Islam.
The wayfarer. This is the traveller who in a strange land runs out of money. He or she deserves Zakaat, enough money to take him back to his country, even if he is wealthy and can find someone to loan him the money. On his part, he should take with him on his trip sufficient money, if he is wealthy, so that he will not need Zakaat. Zakaat money can not be used to pay off other obligations, such as giving Zakaat money to people you are obligated to take care of by law; or Zakaat money can not be used to pay for hotel and food expenses.
It is, however, permissible to give Zakaat to a wife or family member, provided it is not part of their daily living expense money, but is needed to pay off a debt for one%26#039;s wife if she can not pay it. So is the case for one%26#039;s parents if they can not pay their debt.
Zakaat money may be given to members of the family for their expenses if one is not obligated to take care of them financially. The wife can pay off a debt of her husband with Zakaat money, because he may be among the eight eligible recipients and she is not obligated to spend on him as he is on her.
The eight eligible recipients of Zakaat can be denied their right to Zakaat without proof from Al-Qur`an or Sunnah. In a hadith reported by Ibn Mas`ud, his wife Zaynab heard the Messenger of Allah order women to give Zakaat, so she asked the Messenger (saas): %26quot; O Messenger of Allah, you commanded us to give Zakaat, and I have jewelry that I wanted to assess for Zakaat, but my husband Abdullah bin Mas`ud claimed that his son deserves it more than anyone.%26quot; The Messenger replied: Your husband Ibn Mas`ud is right. Your son deserves your charity more than anyone.%26quot; In another hadith reported by Salman bin `Aamir, he said the Messenger of Allah said: %26quot; Charity to the poor is only charity, but charity to the rest of kind is charity and maintenance of relations (sillah).%26quot; (Nisaee)
No loan should be written off as Zakaat because Zakaat is taken and given. Allah (SWT) said: %26quot;Of their goods take alms....%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 9: 103) And in a Hadith the Messenger has been reported as saying: %26quot;Allah has mandated on you Zakaat to be taken from the wealthy and to be given to the poor.%26quot; Thus, writing off debt is not taken. For instance, If you loan a person money, you can not write off that loan as a Zakaat. However, it could be written off as sadaqah charity. Furthermore, loan, delinquent or not, is considered an absent money, therefore, it should not be transacted in Zakaat. for Zakaat is assessed only in cash in hand. Besides, debt money is valued less than cash in the hand, and using that money for alms is like exchanging good money for bad.
The assessor of alms should try to give his Zakaat to an eligible person, but if he makes a mistake and gives it to an ineligible person it is accepted. In a hadith related by Abu Hurairah, he said the Messenger said:
%26quot;A man expressed his intention to give charity, so he came with his charity and placed it in the hand of an adulteress. In the morning the people were talking and saying charity was given to an adulteress last night. The donor said: O Allah, to thee be the Praise - charity to an adulteress! He then again expressed his intention to give charity, so he went out with it and placed it in the hand of a rich person. In the morning the people were talking and saying charity was given to a rich person. The donor said, O Allah to You be the praise - charity to a rich man! He then expressed his intention to give charity, so he went out with his charity and placed it in the hand of a thief. In the morning the people were talking and saying charity to the thief. So the man said, O Allah to You be the praise (what a misfortune that charity has been given) to the adulteress, the rich and the thief! Then someone came to him and told him your charity has been accepted. As for the adulteress the charity might become the means whereby she might restrain from fornication. The rich man might perhaps learn a lesson and spend from what Allah has given him, and the thief might thereby restrain from committing theft. (Muslim/ Bukhari)
http://www.islamfortoday.com/beliefs.htm
Should we give money to poor ppl?
The answer is: YES
Please do not mind but I--and many other readers--- would nave preferred a shorter, more concise, question
Thank you for drawing our attention to to the need for giving in charity.
Reply:Check 1--- Check 2, we already are
Reply:While I agree with the basis of the concept of CHARITY, I dont need a listing of DOGMA to point out the importance of it. To show charity is to show we are human and have compassion for our fellows. I have on many occasions taken the homeless into my home and helped them to get back on their feet. I dont need a %26quot;HOLIDAY%26quot; to tell me that I have to do it. Sometimes it has take a yrs or more to assist them. Sometimes, they dont want to make the effort to help themselves. Either way I MADE the effort. I dont need an Inman, priest or rabbi to tell me my obligation to my fellow man.
BTW, Only once did they take what was not offered. They took money or property that was not offered freely. I foreited well over $10,000 over the last 20 yrs in cash not to mention the food and lodging. I dont care about that. I have recieved my reward in the one%26#039;s that made it and went on to repay it by helping others. Most of the losses where emotional, very few were materiel.
Reply:Is there a Reader%26#039;s Digest or %26quot;edited for television%26quot; version of your question? You had me in earnest for about three paragraphs, then my brain started malfunctioning and eventually turned to liquid and ran out of my ears.
Could it be that you weren%26#039;t really asking a question? Could it be that you were, instead, rather forcefully asserting your opinion, and you don%26#039;t give a flying hoot what anybody answers?
Your alleged question: %26quot;Should we be charitable?%26quot;
My brief answer: %26quot;Yes.%26quot;
You might win more converts to your faith (you%26#039;re pretty obviously recruiting, here) if you made the subject more approachable. I like to at least try to be open minded, but, man...
Reply:if you have spare change......why not?............
Reply:I wish I had the time to read your long thesis. Can you just post a website for those who are interested?
From now on, I will neglect all those cut and paste articles. You are getting boring now...can%26#039;t you see?
Reply:Listen don%26#039;t care what your believes our we should help someone if you have the opportunity and have the desire too. We should why not is the better question Jesus was all for it and so should we . Because no matter what anyone says he is the son of GOD whether some will believe it or not .
annual credit report
Ramadan is the month of giving and benevolence, the Messenger was more benevolent than a falling rain. Muslims are encouraged to emulate the Messenger of Allah (saas), to assess and pay their Zakaat during the month of Ramadan, thus combining the two pillars of Islam at the same time.
Zakaat (alms) is the name of what a believer returns out of his or her wealth to the neediest of Muslims for the sake of the Almighty Allah. It is called Zakaat because the word Zakaat is from Zakaa which means, to increase, purify and bless.
Who Should Give Zakaat
The obligation of Zakaat is mandatory on every Muslim who possesses the minimum Nisaab, whether the person is man, woman, young, old sane or insane. Because the proof of Zakaat in Al-Qur`an and Sunnah is general and does not exclude young or insane. Allah (SWT) stated that: %26quot;Of their goods take alms so that thou mightiest purify and sanctify them...%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 9: 103)
Imam Ibn Hazim said that every Muslim young or old sane or insane needs to cleanse his or her wealth with Zakaat because of generality of the evidence. Anas bin Malik reported that the Messenger of Allah (saas) said: %26quot;Trade with the money of the orphan, lest it is eaten up by Zakaat.%26quot; (At-Tabraani) In another Hadith `Amru bin Shuaib related from his grandfather that the Messenger of Allah said:
%26quot;Whoever is entrusted with money of an orphan should trade with it and should not leave it sitting to be used up by charity.%26quot; (Tirmidhi)
The point of reference in these reports is that the Messenger (saas) urged the trustee on the estate of people who due to age or other reasons cannot manage their own financial affairs, to invest it in a business that will yield a return and make it grow until they are in a position to do so themselves. For, if proper investment is not made with an ophan%26#039;s inheritance, it will be depleted by charity, thus leaving the orphan with little or nothing.
The Nisaab
The Lawgiver, Allah has prescribed the minimum amount that is obligatory for Zakaat in different ranges of properties, and that minimum amount is known as nisaab. The reason for nisaab is to ensure that no one is forced to give Zakaat out of what he or she does not have, and that no wealth goes without Zakaat. Nisaab is also an insurance against the tyranny of the state to tax the poor and or the neediest as is the case in many countries. Nisaab is a reference point for the average Muslim who is not sure whether he possesses the minimum wealth on which Zakaat is obligatory. The wealthy need not worry about the Nisaab. Zakaat is obligatory on their entire wealth and must be paid out at the end of financial year that they set for their Zakaat.
The Nisaab will not be valid unless it fulfills two conditions:
1) The amount that has reached Nisaab must be the excess or surplus known as %26quot;faadil%26quot; from one%26#039;s essential needs such as food, clothing, housing, vehicles, tools and machinery that is used in business. The essentials for living are exempted from Zakaat.
Although what constitutes nisaab may change from one country to another, the amount that is needed for the basic needs of living in different countries is very similar, because the market place determines the prices, whether it is an official market or a non-official market. In the poorest countries people do without or live below the poverty standard, and that is why many go hungry or without basic essentials.
However, we must realize that Zakaat is an act of worship (ebadah) like Salaat. The element of intention (niyyah) is necessary, and we should not overly rely on state agencies to determine for us the requirements of our religious duty. The so called the %26quot;consumption basket%26quot; (that is poverty level as determined the social security administration which are updated every fiscal year) may not be the same as what Islam considers minimum Nisaab.
In the industrialized countries, the consumption basket may include items that are not necessarily essential, such as entertainment, extra clothing, variety of food, eating in restaurant or eating at home, owning more than one car as opposed to having three cars in the driveway, drinking water as opposed to juices, eating regular food or special %26quot;health%26quot; food. This is why I believe it is essential that we do not lose site of the fact that Zakaat is ebadah of wealth, like salaat and fasting. Non Muslims may consider all the things mentioned above as essentials while Muslims will not. Indeed, no Muslims in good standing will attempt to hide behind the label of consumption basket so as to evade Zakaat.
Nisaab eliminates the possibility of injustice or unfair treatment of the Zakaat payer. To suggest that if we do not follow the rules of International Monetary Fund or the arbitrary figures of social security administration or department of agriculture we will be doing injustice to the Zakaat payer is ludicrous.
2) Nisaab must mature, that is the money is not liable for Zakaat unless it has remained a full year in the possession of a person. This is the understanding of the majority of the scholars. Imam Abu Hanifah (raa) said: %26quot;What should be considered is the existence of nisaab at the beginning and the end of the Zakaat year set by the payer%26quot;. It does not matter if the nisaab money increases or decreases during the calendar year, as we will explain later.
This condition does not include farm produce, for it is due on the day it is harvested. Allah (SWT) stated: %26quot;... But render the dues that are proper on the day that the harvest is gathered...%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 6: 141) According to Imam Al-`Abadi, (raa) Zakaat money is of two kinds: one that by its nature can not be invested and Zakaat of this category is due on the day of harvest. This includes all the farm produce that is liable for Zakaat. The other is wealth that can be invested in the hope of a good return, like cash, gold or silver, because the opportunity is there that cash in one%26#039;s hand can be invested for a good return. This includes currency investment, merchandise and livestock. Their Zakaat is not due until they have matured in one full year.
The proof of this condition is the Hadith related by Ibn `Umar that the Messenger of Allah (saas) said: %26quot;He who acquires property is not liable for Zakaat on it till a year passes.%26quot; According to Ibn Rushd (raa) this is the understanding of the majority of scholars, including the four rightly guided Khalifahs.
Zakaat Of Salaries
The condition of yearly term maturity applies to the commodities on which the Lawgiver said Zakaat is due, and this includes silver, gold, modern paper currency and livestock. Paper currency is analogous to silver, therefore, it takes the case of silver. There is no Zakaat on salary, earned income from wage earners or professionals or independent contractors until such money matures in a full year. There is no such thing as paying your Zakaat on the day you receive your paycheck. What the wage earner must know is that he or she can purify that money with charity (sadaqah) anytime they cash the paycheck. Allah (SWT) states: %26quot;And in their wealth and possessions (was remembered) the right of the needy, he who asks and he who (for some reason) was prevented (from asking).%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 51: 19).
We can deduce from the concept of %26quot;yearly maturity%26quot; of wealth on which Zakaat is due as encouraging, among other things, saving on the part of the Zakaat payer, and enhances the chances for eradicating poverty, because if the poor receives his rightful share of Zakaat there will be the possibility that he can take Zakaat money and invest it and become a Zakaat payer instead of recipient. This possibility will be lost if he receives few Zakaat dollars every month. To say that the wage earner just brings his check home and spends everything on necessities and lives from check to check with nothing left over means the person is eligible for Zakaat.
Using farm produce as analogous to salary for Zakaat is wrong analogy. As Imam Al-`Abadi said, these are two different categories of money. $2, 500.00 cash can be invested by the person and expect a good return whereas it will be difficult to invest a bushel of corn. It can be traded as a commodity, which is what it is. This why we must know that analogy has rules that must be followed before it is applied. Certainly the jurists are unanimous that earned income, known as almal al-mustafadah, should either be added to existing money and wait until that amount reaches maturity and then give their Zakaat; or if there is no money on hand the time one possesses this money, he or she should wait one full year before assessing it for Zakaat.
Zakaat is one of the five pillars of Islam and a vital element in the religion of Islam. It is the twin sister of Salaat. In Al-Qur`an, Allah (SWT) stated: %26quot;So establish regular Prayer and give regular Alms; and obey the Messenger; that you may receive mercy.%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 24: 56) Also, %26quot;...Establish regular Prayer and give regular Alms, and loan to Allah a beautiful loan....%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 73: 20) %26quot;And they have been commanded no more than this: to worship Allah, offering Him sincere devotion, being true (in faith); to establish regular Prayer and to practice regular charity; and that is the religion right and straight.%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 98: 5)
In a famous Hadith reported by `Umar Bin Khattab (raa), the Messenger of Allah (saas) responded to Jibreel (as) and said: %26quot;... Islam is to testify that there is no deity but Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, to perform the prayer, to pay Zakaat, to observe fasting in Ramadan, and to make pilgrimage to the house of Allah if you are able to do os....%26quot; (Bukhari, Muslim)
There is consensus among Muslim scholars that it is mandatory on every believer who is financially able. Whoever knowingly denies this obligation, while he possesses the minimum amount, would be considered a disbeliever and a renegade from Islam. Whoever is stingy, or tries to cheat, is considered among the wrongdoers. Zakaat is mandatory on four categories of items.
1. Farm produce of seeds and fruits, such as wheat, barley, rice, dates, raisins, cocoa, pistachios, coffee, cashews. Allah (SWT) stated: %26quot;O you who believe, give of the good things which you have (honorably) earned, and of the fruits of the earth which We have produced for you...%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 2: 267) Also: %26quot;... But render the dues that are proper on the day that the harvest is gathered...%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 6: 141) Thus, these two verses and many others indicate that Zakaat is due on farm products that reached the minimum amount (nisaab). No farm product is liable for Zakaat unless it is a product that is considered as food and can be stocked or saved naturally without refrigeration. If the produce is perishable fruit, such as grapes, there is no Zakaat. But if one sells them they will pay their Zakaat on the profit earned when it matures.
The nisaab is 612 kilos, which equals 1,346.40 lb. There is no Zakaat on produce that is less than this amount. If the farm produce or crops grow dependant on rainwater, or without any man%26#039;s labor or irrigation, Zakaat due is one-tenth of the total. If it is grown by irrigation, then the Zakaat due is half of one-tenth of the total produce. There is no Zakaat on fruits like apples or oranges or vegetables which are perishable and need refrigeration for long storage, but they should be considered as any income if the profit earned from their sale reaches the amount of Zakaat, then Zakaat should be given.
2. Cattle, including camels, cows, sheep and goats, that are freely graze and are raised for trade and production. For Zakaat to be obligatory, the number must reach the nisaab. The nisaab of camels is five, of cows 30, of sheep and goats, 40. By freely grazing is meant the animal goes out to feed without the owner buying or bringing it feed or hay. If it is not a grazing animal, there is no Zakaat in the stock by itself. The stock will, however, be considered as articles of trade, then will be assessed for Zakaat as articles of trade when the profit earned from their sale reaches the amount by itself or in combination with other articles of the trade.
3. Merchandise and goods of trade and commerce. This includes anything that is obtained for the business of buying and selling: land, animals, food provisions, fabric, cars, spare parts, etc. This inventory is evaluated annually and assessed for Zakaat, whether the value is the same as the amount spent on it, more, or less. The owners of grocery stores, like any other business, must evaluate every item and give their Zakaat. Simple bookkeeping of inventory, orders, cash on hand, and credits, that is non-delinquent loans, will give one a good picture of the zakaatable assets. But if one is unable to account for everything in the store or shop, he should assess it according to his ability until he is sure that his conscience is clear.
There is no Zakaat on what is within one%26#039;s dwelling or property which includes food, drinks, furniture, houses, animals, cars, clothes and shoes. The only exception is gold and silver. There is no Zakaat on assets from rentals or lease, whether they are apartment units, taxi cabs, etc. That is, there is no Zakaat on the apartment units, buses or cars for rental like yellow cabs company or trucks for rental or equipments. But there is Zakaat on the proceeds or incomes from these rental assets if these assets reach the executable amount, either by themselves or in combination with other assets.
Business Activities
Many scholars are of the opinion that any business activity that brings any return to the entrepreneur or investor should be assessed for Zakaat. If the activity has a prescribed nisaab, such as gold, silver or paper currency, that nisaab is applied for Zakaat. But if the business has no declared nisaab, its nisaab is the nisaab of commerce, one reason being that most business activities are considered as commerce and because, in actual fact, it is not factitious business name, such as GM, Apple or GE that is taxed for Zakaat, it is the individual investor. We do not tax cooperations such IBM, Apple, GM or Rajihy Bank but the individual investors, share holders and owners of these corporations.
Indeed, there are enough rules in Zakaat books to cover all types of business activity, be it cash or risk investment. If the business activity is analogous to commerce, it should be assessed the same rate as commerce. To subject the business to a different Zakaat rate of 10%, which is the rate of farm products instead of its correct rate of 2.5%, the rate of commerce, is unfair and unjustified. Besides, there is no proof, even a weak one, to justify this unfair arbitrary taxation. The difference between 2.5% and 10% is high. The Zakaat system is not like a state revenue collection, but Allah%26#039;s `ebadah. However, if a business person decides to give more than 2.5% after deducting all the expenses including depreciation, Allah (SWT) will accept it from him.
4. Gold and silver, whether used for commerce or jewelry. Allah (SWT) states: %26quot;...And there are those who bury gold and silver and spend it not in the way of Allah: announce unto them a most grievous penalty. On the day when heat will be produced out of that (wealth) in the fire of hell, and with it will be branded their foreheads, their flanks and their backs. This is the (treasure) which you buried for yourselves: taste you, then, the (treasures) you buried.%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 9: 34-35). By hoarding is meant refusal to give it in the path of Allah, which includes Zakaat.
In a hadith reported by Abu Hurairah (raa), the Messenger of Allah (saas) said: %26quot;For the owner or possessor of gold and silver who does not fulfill its obligation, on the Day of Resurrection it will be cast into sheets of fire and be branded on his forehead, side and back. Whenever it cools it is to be repeated for him in a day whose length is the length of fifty thousand years, until the judgement is rendered among the people.%26quot; (Muslim). By its obligation is meant assessing it for Zakaat. In another version: %26quot;No possessor of a treasure who does not give its Zakaat.%26quot;
Zakaat is mandatory in gold and silver, irrespective of its form: in coins, raw or nugget, or jewelry for wearing, or for rent, because of the generality of evidence of Zakaat without any detail. In a report by Abdullah bin `Amr bin `Aas (raa), he related that a woman came to the Messenger of Allah with her daughter. On the daughter%26#039;s wrist were two heavy gold bracelets. The Messenger asked her, %26quot;Do you pay Zakaat on this?%26quot; She replied, %26quot;No.%26quot; The Messenger said: %26quot;Would it please you that Allah will encircle you with two bracelets of fire?%26quot; The reporter commented that she took them off and threw them down in front of the Messenger, and said: %26quot;They are for Allah and his Messenger.%26quot; (Ahmed, Tirmidhi).
The Messenger%26#039;s wife reported that: %26quot;The Messenger entered into my house and saw in my hand a huge ring made of silver, so he asked, `What is this?%26#039; I replied, `I made them to beautify myself for you, O Messenger of Allah.%26#039; He inquired, `Do you give their Zakaat?%26#039; I said, `No,%26#039; or `Allah willing.%26#039; He said: `It will suffice you in the hellfire.%26#039;%26quot; (Abu Dawuud).
Zakaat is due on gold when it reaches the amount of (nisaab), which is 20 Dinaar. According to a hadith, the Messenger said: %26quot;No Zakaat on you is due until it reaches 20 dinaar.%26quot; (Abu Dawud) The Islamic dinaar (currency) is one mithqal, a unit of weight which weighs four and one quarter of a gram. Thus, the nisaab is 85 grams. This is equal to $30.00 US dollars.
Similarly, there is no Zakaat on silver until it reaches five oqiyah, because the Messenger said: %26quot;There is no Zakaat on less then five oqiyah.%26quot; (Muslim/Bukhari) Oqiyah is equal to forty Islamic dirhams. The nisaab is 200 dirhams. One dirham is equivalent to 595 grams. The zakaatable amount in both the gold and silver is a quarter of a tenth only.
Paper Currency
There is Zakaat on modern paper currency because it is equivalent to silver. During the early days of Islam, silver and gold were the currency of exchange minted into dirham for silver and dinaar for gold. Silver, not gold, had a larger circulation. Thus many scholars are of opinion that silver should be the standard for the paper currencies of today because that is more advantageous to the Zakaat payer, as it raises the minimum nisaab whereas gold lowers it. Although both metals are no longer circulated, they are still considered as a security against ever fluctuating paper money.
Silver should be used as a standard to assess Zakaat annually, not paper currency, even if the currency is hard currency like the US dollar, Yen and Deutch Mark or Pound Sterling. Because these currencies are backed by political decisions that may not have anything to do with the economy, the value and strength of this paper money depends largely on all haram usury system of interest rates.
Thus, the Zakaat payer should look up in the local newspaper%26#039;s financial or business section for the price of silver which is currently about $3.82. per ounce. The nisaab, then, is 596 x .04=28.80 ounce multiplied by$3.82= 90.91. therefore. The nisaab is about $100.00, as of December 17, 1991.
The nisaab should be based on the market value of the currency. If the money is hard currency, there will be no problem, but if the money is a non-marketable currency, like most currencies in the third world countries, the nisaab should be based on the black market, which realistically reflects the value of the currency on the money market. In any case, the silver rate should be used to assess the Zakaat.
If the nisaab is determined, the zakaatable amount is 2.5%, or .025 multiplied by the amount. For instance, if the zakaatable amount is $56,000.00 it will be 56,000. x .025 = $1,400.00.
Zakaat is due on gold, silver, and or paper currency, whether it is cash in hand or credit in the hands of borrowers. Zakaat is due on debts or cost of merchandize or rental money. If the borrower is a wealthy person that you know will pay back the debt, the lender (that is Halaal lending free of usury) should include that money in the assessment and give its Zakaat. However, one can delay Zakaat on a loan until he receives payment, then return its Zakaat for the past years that he was unable to assess for Zakaat. If the borrower is poor or is refusing to pay the debt, there will be no Zakaat on the money until the lender receives the money. Then he will assess it for Zakaat of one past due year, but there will be no Zakaat in the years before that.
There is no Zakaat on precious stones such as diamonds, or metals such uranium, regardless of their value. Gold and silver, of course are assessed for Zakaat. However, if a person possesses any of these stones or metals, he should give their Zakaat like any other articles of trade. If a person possesses diamonds or any other precious stones as an edge against inflation or for ornaments, there will no Zakaat on these.
How To Give Zakaat
Zakaat may be assessed and returned in two ways:
a) Make a record of all money earned, either daily or monthly, which has reached the nisaab and remains in the treasury. The Zakaat of that money would be due one year later on the same day the money was earned and reached nisaab. This means every month%26#039;s income must be set aside and assessed for Zakaat and so will be the case for the rest of the months. For instance, the income of January, 1991 will be assessed for Zakaat in January, 1992, and the income of February, 1991 will be assessed for Zakaat in February 1992, etc. This method of assessing Zakaat is very difficult because it entails complete bookkeeping of daily or monthly earnings.
b) The best way is to set a day or a month, preferably Ramadan, for your annual Zakaat return calendar, say Ramadan 1st, 1412. One year later on the same day Ramadan, 1413, your Zakaat is due and payable. Whatever is in the savings is due for Zakaat, regardless of whether all the amount in the savings reaches a year or not. For instance: if you have $20,000.00 in the savings account on the 1st of Ramadan, 1412 and one year later by the 1st of Ramadan, 1413 there is $50, 000.00, your Zakaat will be assessed for $50,000.00, that is: $50.000.00 x .025= $1,250.00. If, on the other hand, by the 1st of Ramadan, 1413 the amount in the savings is $15,000.00, your Zakaat will be for the amount in the savings, that is $15,000.00 x .025= $375.00. This method is the best because it is easy to assess, meets one%26#039;s obligation and relieve one%26#039;s conscience.
The Recipient Of Zakaat
Knowing who qualifies as recipient of Zakaat is an important aspect of Zakaat collection in Islam. Fortunately, Allah (SWT) has been merciful to us in that He Himself spelled out the people eligible to receive Zakaat. In Surah Tawbah He stated:
%26quot;Alms are for the poor and the needy; and those employed to administer (the funds); for those whose hearts have been (recently) reconciled (to truth); for those in bondage and in debt; in the cause of Allah; and for the wayfarer: (thus is it) ordained by Allah, and Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom.%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 9: 60) In this verse Allah enumerated the people who deserve this divine welfare, and they are as follows:
The poor and the needy. These are individuals, and those under their care, to live on. By the poor and needy is meant the people whose income or salaries, or whatever material goods they have, fall short of the cost of living in a given environment and economy. The poor and the needy should be given what will suffice them and their families for one full year. The needy who want to get married and have no means should be given enough for this purpose, and so, too, the student who needs money for tuition, rent, food, and books. The working poor should be given supplementary Zakaat. But the wealthy, or any person with enough income to live on should not be given Zakaat, even if they asked for it. Instead, they should be warned and admonished for asking for what does not belong to them.
In a hadith reported by Abdullah bin `Umar, the Messenger of Allah (saas) stated: %26quot;A man keeps on asking others for something till he comes on the day of Resurrection without any piece of flesh on his face.%26quot; (Bukhari/Muslim). This hadith indicates a humiliating appearance before Allah (SWT) that awaits a person who asks illegally.
Some said: this hadith implies Allah will punish a person with the very limb, the face, that he used to impress on others to give him their money unlawfully.
In another hadith reported by Abu Hurairah, the Messenger of Allah said: %26quot;Whoever asks people for their money so as to get rich, he is asking for flames of fire. It is up to him to ask for more or less (he should beware).%26quot; (Muslim) This hadith indicates the severity of the punishment, the more one asks the more punishment, the less one asks the less the punishment.
In another hadith, reported by Hakeem bin Hizaam said: I begged the Messenger of Allah and he gave me. I begged again, and he gave me. I begged again and he gave me. He then said: %26quot;This money is green and sweet; he who receives it from people with a cheerful heart, Allah will bless him in it; he who receives it, with an avaricious mind would not be blessed in it. He will be like the person who eats without being satisfied; and the upper hand is better than the lower hand%26quot; (Muslim)
This hadith gave an analogy between money and green, ripened fruit that people love to eat. Thus, it indicates that both are greatly loved but easily finished. For money that is easy come easy go, one must be careful about the punishment that awaits the illegal eater. If a person asks for Zakaat and there are no signs of wealth, and he does not know that he should not ask, or a person who is well and able, who can work, but does not; if these people do not know that it is not permissible for them to ask, it may be given anyway.
In a hadith reported by Ahmed, Abu Dawud, and Nasa%26#039;e, two men came to the Messenger of Allah (saas) and asked for Zakaat. He looked at them closely and found them strong and able, he said, %26quot;If you want I will give you. But you should know that the wealthy or an able person who can work has no share in Zakaat%26quot; (Ahmad)
Those who administer the Zakaat department, assigning people for collecting, bookkeeping, making lists of people eligible for Zakaat, and a financial calendar. These people will receive Zakaat as compensation for their work, even if they are wealthy. This does not include a person who works as an agent for one or two wealthy people to take Zakaat for himself. They should donate their time for Zakaat disbursement and do it with honesty and truthfulness. If they can not, they should be paid or rewarded for their time. In a hadith related by Abu Musa Al-Ashi`ari (raa), the Messenger of Allah said: %26quot;A trustworthy Muslim executor is the one who executes completely what has been entrusted to him of Zakaat money in good faith.%26quot; (Bukhari)
That is, he will give the Zakaat money to any of the eligible recipients of Zakaat. He should carry on the duty voluntarily, but if he can not distribute the money without being paid, the Zakaat payer should pay him for his work. The payment for the service of distributing Zakaat should not come out of Zakaat money.
The new converts to Islam whose hearts we want to harmonize into the fold of Islam, either because their faith is weak or we are afraid of their being harmed, should be given Zakaat to strengthen their Iman or until we no longer fear their harm.
The bonds person who has contracted with his master to buy himself out of bondage deserve Zakaat and should be given enough to pay off their debt to the master and be freed themselves; similarly, Muslim prisoners of war if their freedom is tied to monetary payment, deserve Zakaat sufficient enough to secure their release.
On the other hand, if a pearson accidently killed someone and have no means to pay off the blood money, he should be helped from Zakaat funds.
The people in debt are of two kinds:
(A) The guarantor, who takes the responsibility of someone else%26#039;s debt so as to reconcile the two warring parties, to extinguish the fire of fitnah between them. If the person requests Zakaat money to pay off this debt he should be given it, which will encourage him to continue in this noble cause.
In a hadith reported by Qubaysah Al-Hilaaly (raa), he said I was under debt (hamaalah) and I came to the Messenger (saas) and begged him to help me pay it off. The Messenger told him: %26quot;Wait until we receive charity, so we will command that it be given to you.%26quot; However, the Messenger stated: %26quot;O Qubaysah, begging is not permitted except for one of three categories of people:
A man who has incurred debt (as guarantor to reconcile blood wit) for him begging is permissible till he pays that off, after which he must stop it; a man whose property has been destroyed by calamity which has smitten him; for him begging is permissible till he gets what will support life or will provide him reasonable subsistence; and a man who has been smitten by poverty, the genuineness of which should be confirmed by three knowledgeable members of his people; for him begging is permissible till he gets what will support him, or will provide him subsistence. Besides these three, Qubaysah, begging is forbidden for every other persons, and one who engages in such consumes that which is forbidden.%26quot; (Muslim)
(B) Whoever incurs debt and has no money to pay it back will be given from Zakaat to help pay his debt, whether the amount is large or small; or his creditor should be paid directly on his behalf, so long as it is paid off.
Zakaat can be given in the path of Allah. By this is meant to finance a Jihad effort in the path of Allah, not for Jihad for other reasons. The fighter (mujahid) will be given as salary what will be enough for him. If he needs to buy arms or some other supplies related to the war effort, Zakaat money should be used provided the effort is to raise the banner of Islam.
The wayfarer. This is the traveller who in a strange land runs out of money. He or she deserves Zakaat, enough money to take him back to his country, even if he is wealthy and can find someone to loan him the money. On his part, he should take with him on his trip sufficient money, if he is wealthy, so that he will not need Zakaat. Zakaat money can not be used to pay off other obligations, such as giving Zakaat money to people you are obligated to take care of by law; or Zakaat money can not be used to pay for hotel and food expenses.
It is, however, permissible to give Zakaat to a wife or family member, provided it is not part of their daily living expense money, but is needed to pay off a debt for one%26#039;s wife if she can not pay it. So is the case for one%26#039;s parents if they can not pay their debt.
Zakaat money may be given to members of the family for their expenses if one is not obligated to take care of them financially. The wife can pay off a debt of her husband with Zakaat money, because he may be among the eight eligible recipients and she is not obligated to spend on him as he is on her.
The eight eligible recipients of Zakaat can be denied their right to Zakaat without proof from Al-Qur`an or Sunnah. In a hadith reported by Ibn Mas`ud, his wife Zaynab heard the Messenger of Allah order women to give Zakaat, so she asked the Messenger (saas): %26quot; O Messenger of Allah, you commanded us to give Zakaat, and I have jewelry that I wanted to assess for Zakaat, but my husband Abdullah bin Mas`ud claimed that his son deserves it more than anyone.%26quot; The Messenger replied: Your husband Ibn Mas`ud is right. Your son deserves your charity more than anyone.%26quot; In another hadith reported by Salman bin `Aamir, he said the Messenger of Allah said: %26quot; Charity to the poor is only charity, but charity to the rest of kind is charity and maintenance of relations (sillah).%26quot; (Nisaee)
No loan should be written off as Zakaat because Zakaat is taken and given. Allah (SWT) said: %26quot;Of their goods take alms....%26quot; (Al-Qur`an, 9: 103) And in a Hadith the Messenger has been reported as saying: %26quot;Allah has mandated on you Zakaat to be taken from the wealthy and to be given to the poor.%26quot; Thus, writing off debt is not taken. For instance, If you loan a person money, you can not write off that loan as a Zakaat. However, it could be written off as sadaqah charity. Furthermore, loan, delinquent or not, is considered an absent money, therefore, it should not be transacted in Zakaat. for Zakaat is assessed only in cash in hand. Besides, debt money is valued less than cash in the hand, and using that money for alms is like exchanging good money for bad.
The assessor of alms should try to give his Zakaat to an eligible person, but if he makes a mistake and gives it to an ineligible person it is accepted. In a hadith related by Abu Hurairah, he said the Messenger said:
%26quot;A man expressed his intention to give charity, so he came with his charity and placed it in the hand of an adulteress. In the morning the people were talking and saying charity was given to an adulteress last night. The donor said: O Allah, to thee be the Praise - charity to an adulteress! He then again expressed his intention to give charity, so he went out with it and placed it in the hand of a rich person. In the morning the people were talking and saying charity was given to a rich person. The donor said, O Allah to You be the praise - charity to a rich man! He then expressed his intention to give charity, so he went out with his charity and placed it in the hand of a thief. In the morning the people were talking and saying charity to the thief. So the man said, O Allah to You be the praise (what a misfortune that charity has been given) to the adulteress, the rich and the thief! Then someone came to him and told him your charity has been accepted. As for the adulteress the charity might become the means whereby she might restrain from fornication. The rich man might perhaps learn a lesson and spend from what Allah has given him, and the thief might thereby restrain from committing theft. (Muslim/ Bukhari)
http://www.islamfortoday.com/beliefs.htm
Should we give money to poor ppl?
The answer is: YES
Please do not mind but I--and many other readers--- would nave preferred a shorter, more concise, question
Thank you for drawing our attention to to the need for giving in charity.
Reply:Check 1--- Check 2, we already are
Reply:While I agree with the basis of the concept of CHARITY, I dont need a listing of DOGMA to point out the importance of it. To show charity is to show we are human and have compassion for our fellows. I have on many occasions taken the homeless into my home and helped them to get back on their feet. I dont need a %26quot;HOLIDAY%26quot; to tell me that I have to do it. Sometimes it has take a yrs or more to assist them. Sometimes, they dont want to make the effort to help themselves. Either way I MADE the effort. I dont need an Inman, priest or rabbi to tell me my obligation to my fellow man.
BTW, Only once did they take what was not offered. They took money or property that was not offered freely. I foreited well over $10,000 over the last 20 yrs in cash not to mention the food and lodging. I dont care about that. I have recieved my reward in the one%26#039;s that made it and went on to repay it by helping others. Most of the losses where emotional, very few were materiel.
Reply:Is there a Reader%26#039;s Digest or %26quot;edited for television%26quot; version of your question? You had me in earnest for about three paragraphs, then my brain started malfunctioning and eventually turned to liquid and ran out of my ears.
Could it be that you weren%26#039;t really asking a question? Could it be that you were, instead, rather forcefully asserting your opinion, and you don%26#039;t give a flying hoot what anybody answers?
Your alleged question: %26quot;Should we be charitable?%26quot;
My brief answer: %26quot;Yes.%26quot;
You might win more converts to your faith (you%26#039;re pretty obviously recruiting, here) if you made the subject more approachable. I like to at least try to be open minded, but, man...
Reply:if you have spare change......why not?............
Reply:I wish I had the time to read your long thesis. Can you just post a website for those who are interested?
From now on, I will neglect all those cut and paste articles. You are getting boring now...can%26#039;t you see?
Reply:Listen don%26#039;t care what your believes our we should help someone if you have the opportunity and have the desire too. We should why not is the better question Jesus was all for it and so should we . Because no matter what anyone says he is the son of GOD whether some will believe it or not .
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